{♥}

Monday, November 29, 2010

總是在夜深人靜想一個人;
oh, i love these words. but i'll die learning to write them! lol

been eating lots of hawker food recently! especially that yummy desert-- ice kacang!! ahahaha! eat until abit sick. LOL. im so pampered huh! anw, i miss my dad's cooking so much ): outside food is nowhere near la! i think the last meal he cooked was ytd lunch, and .. second last would be wed? ):

i think my emotions were in a roller coaster. until, idk, now? hahahah. *sighs* is this resilience or stupidity? i've no idea actually. ohyea. i saw this pretty quote while doing GP compre (yes i know! so no life right?!!)

We use denial as a defence mechanism; to protext ourselves from the force of a truth we imagine will be too shattering for us to cope with.

-- The Denial Syndrome

life, you have such a sick sense of humour. its so not funny. it hurts damn much. wont anyone agree w me? why do you have to shove such coincidences at my face. at our faces. did i say goodbye to her all those years ago? i know i din. not this time.

its scary to see look-alikes on the roads. despite knowing.. its just some other stranger.

but, i can totally do this. nothing is impossible! even in the word isit, IMpossible. (: (: (: this is ~~stupidity~~ resilience (: no idea what im trying to prove, but i will pull through!! (: (: hmmm my schedule was wrecked tho. hahaha! im supposed to have a new phone, shorter hair and no/less dandruff. LOL. now, im using super lousy spare phone, longer hair, worse dandruff. LOL. ironic much?

ethel went China on the day before, diana Batam ytd and heather Japan tdy! so shiok! hahaha! i want go overseas too leh! )): *SIGHS* totally not possible! lol

terence, is one crazy guy! he says i actually have a sense of humour *look of disbelief* i think, others will say im lame and random. HAHAHAHHAH

_______________

very few songs have the ability to literally make me stop and ~~stare~~ stone! this song is one of them (: there is sth abt this song.. hahahah know what? idk what i'll do if anyone actually sings it for me (': touched ttm, is one of them!

p.s. i hate feeling so uncertain, inadequate and helpless. i hate this. this will fade. this too shall pass.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

可不可以;
how can the sun still shine so brightly when its all falling apart?

omg! i was so happy with cinnamon melts, until i saw BROWNIE MELTS. wth, singapore no brownie melts ): *SIGHS* anw. who can be not happy with such yummy food? :D muahahahahah i hog it all to myself-- my brother doesnt get to eat it!
.
i made him look for my phone charger tgt w me, while he was eating breakfast! lol. im such a bully (: (: it turns out, i left my charger in gmss. and i cn only claim it back on monday (and im not free that day!!) crap. so im stuck w my old old old phone ): which sucks. lol. i cnt text properly. and gotta keep deleting smses *groans* but my parents wont buy me a phone yet. ohwell! (:

why, God? sometimes i just dont understand. well, thats what faith is all about right! (: despite everything and anything, i'll trust You. thank You thank You thank You (:

it's like You knew and put it there for me to read.

.
i'll be strong! i'll be happy! i'll be everything i need. to not worry you.
.

someone needs to define "friends" for me. you weren't here, you arent here. what do you want from me. you, are really confusing. mind-boggling. complicated. and everything.

p.s. what cnt kill me will only make me stronger. right?

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Friday, November 26, 2010

went for Guides campfire ytd! LOL. first campfire in the rain. hahahah! everyone was wearing poncho! even msng says its her first time! :D tsk, i feel so old during the campfire can! LOL. im okay w screaming (fyi, we seniors are the best. hahahah damn loud!) but im not okay w thousand-legged worm, (gigantic round of) friendship dance etc. whoa, very tiring can! lao le la ):
.

dinner was.. baby food. LOL. this mushy thing. l: doesnt sound nice right! doesnt taste fantastic either. hahah! i find it taste-less. some find it too spicy :O hahahah cassandra and natalie were drinking truckloads of water! eh, huishan pour water into her plate. LOL. dinner was hilarious!

p.s. the carrot is so crunchy!! l: LOL. apparently, every meal de carrot also liddat one!

p.p.s. sihui and i sneak out of camp early this morning to get more yummy breakfast. hahaha! dinner was horrifying!

i actually kinda miss Guides. if more of our batch went, i think it would be more fun ^^ and if we actually talk to the tchrs more! and more seniors! i only managed to see nazirah mdm last night ): missed janice and raina mdm who came earlier!

p.s. TSK! first msng cnt recognise us in the dark. then she kinda insulted ny. then she tot we are jc2 alr!!?

p.p.s FACEPAINT!!

sleep was.. hahahah horrible. shall sleep more tonight! hardly slept can ): less than 3hours, but im damn awake now. the cleaners waked me up so politely (at 6+!) when they went about their tasks so enthusiastically! ugh!!
.

life, oh life. sometimes, youre so cruel. do you know that? is asking for people to stay tgt so difficult? i dont like goodbyes or farewells. i want all of us to be tgt. friends, and family. im always waiting-- but for what? idk. miracles? i do realise, sometimes, this way is better for them. but it hurts. it always does.

i shall have faith then. holding on to the pieces of wtv remains. cont smiling and being who youre all used to. being random and crappy and lame (: and to keep waiting and waiting. and waiting.

p.s. if one day, i stop and do nth, will you take the initiative? bcos, i dont think you know that im waiting.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

being happy;

hahahahahha it felt like it was holidays ytd alr! :D lol. went swimming with suhui. LOL. while we were lazing in the pool, this lifeguard came and talk to us. lol, he tot we are sisters! and suhui is the older one-- working alr! hahahahah! being in the sun, and water.. damn shiok :D hahaha! damn happy. we played the slides like silly little kids. hahahah!! and this big bucket of water which splashes down when its filled? LOL it always caught us unaware. lol, and considering our long hair, we always look like crazy ppl! LOL. it was more like a talking&relaxing session than swimming (: (: (:
p.s. my butt hurts aft all the rides on the slides! OUCH! the slide need cushion?!! plus i take forever to reach the bottom of the slide -.- tsk!!

lunch outside with diana sihui weimei! hahaahh! eh. wth. i saw my classmates agn l: not fun. LOL. hahahah my fight-or-flight instinct favour the flight part alot. lol. i turned around and ran away aft seeing my classmates at longjohnsilvers (once agn!!) omg, so ps and funny in retrospect. but.. i suppose i'll still run off the nxt time i see those bunch of guys :D
p.s. i din feel that harrassed until i received that msg. ugh. (but sihui, you still cnt reply that la!!)

anw.. HAHAHAHHA this librarian.. told us-- no cutting of hair in library. LOL. cos wm has white hair.. i volunteered to help her cut. hahahah! LOL in the end i was laughing so hard, so i din notice if others stare at us (as wm recounted) lol, then we were debating-- isit btr to have white hair? or not enough hair?

im feeling really pro! i said a "story", so ridiculous that i couldnt keep a str face while saying it. yet, i managed to fool my mother, wm and sh!! HHAHAHAHA!
p.s. wm! im not naughty! hahahha just abit random!

omg! look at those donuts! ahhhhh i want!!! LOL. i think im infected by the donut craze agn! hahaaha! oh, i read somewhere that some countries believe that eating circular stuff is good luck for the new year! :D one country (canada?) eats donuts to represent that the year has come to an end etc. shall we go eat (YUUMMMYY) donuts at the end of the year?! :D :D :D *excited alr!*

ugghhhh! im getting a new phone this week? but i've no idea what to get! initially i wanted BlackBerry but i couldnt get over the fact that its so sooooo ex! ): so, i wanted a QWERTY phone! i nvr try before! but.. damn, all the qwerty (isit named like this cos.. look at your keyboard!) phones arent exactly fantastic l: *sighs* what should i get then? ):

i think im really good at waiting.

LOL. really. now that i think back.. anw.

Monday, November 22, 2010

a random post today! :D

hahaha! oh, i wanted to say.. i think im really blind! diana was pointing sth to me at Subway! but.. LOL i've no idea what she wanted me to see. even until now, i cnt figure it out! hahahaha! and my dad told me to look at the moon-- which i did ofcos. but i look at the wrong place -.- and i saw no moon. hahahah, my dad and sis were greatly amused l: they share a weird sense of humour!

hahahah econs lecture.. cmi de la. lol. really, i only rmb rolling my eyes, laughing, TRYING NOT to laugh, talking and groaning. the lecturer v lol?? and heh, there were few guys sitting behind me, saying I SMELL TUNA (fyi, i did too, but. i did not say it out loud!) hahahah apparently, weimei and hweeleng who sat beside me, heard them too! in any case, those guys were pretty lame-- i wonder if they knew we could actually hear them! would they feel ps?? :D

p.s. econs assigment is horrifying! 3000 word essay AND 15min video to be uploaded on YouTube?!? i swear i saw mr nawandni (wm, i dont care the spelling!!!) smiling at our groans. sadist!

i think random-ness run in my family. lol. my brother went for facial! hahahaha! bcos of uh, ance problem. LOL, he somehow ended up signing a package.. 9 more facial treatments to go! *evil laughs*

the facial person (F): isit painful?

my brother (B): very hot leh.

F: *removes blanket*

F: isit painful?

B: got water in my ear.

F: *stops asking alr*

i realised sth really sad )):

me: my throat hurts! ):

hweeleng (H): you ate too much chocolate right!!

me: ... I THINK MY CHOCOLATES ARE FROZEN!!!

H: huh???

*sad sigh* D:

get it?

i kinda make decisions on the spur of the moment. and stubborness. and well, my feelings. (okay, maybe not in this particular order but.. you get what i mean) making a fully logical and reasonable decision is hardly my forte. ~~my (stupid stupid stupid^infinity) heart never understands whats "let go".~~ some ppl are really impt to me :D i guess, i wont let go just yet. this time, i cn think of TWO logical uh, reason! #1: they make me happy. #2: i really cnt let go now.

i really hope its right. (:

We take the laughter and the tears however they come, and let our God of reality make sense of it all.

-- Life Is Like Licking Honey Off a Thorn

not exactly a Verse, but i like it alot (: (: there are times when you feel like youre going to fall apart. but i know, i know i can trust Him.

p.s. one of my best moment tdy? im going swimming with suhui tml!! :D :D :D

p.p.s. am i the only one who thinks that the book has a really weird title?!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

i really think im a dreamer! hahahah! i hardly got anything done ytd l: which isnt a good thing! but i started on sth.. so i should finish it tdy ): ugh, not looking forward to that!

hahahaahha heather and i were random last night. you know BlackBerry? bb for short? she has a friend who uses bb and is from BB! hey, shouldnt we have gb, gg & np!! LOL.
p.s. im still undecided ):

if cats look like this in reality? then i guess i wont be freaked. LOL. but reality isnt perfect. deal with it. and it'll be beautiful!

p.s. what about you? ugh, i should just shut down my brain. lets see.. there's no such thing ):

Saturday, November 20, 2010

will you believe? bcos, i know i'll. (:

i think im weird. hahahha! i've no problems (at all) when it comes to telling others NON-STOP about my clique. lol. and until the point my classmates know the names in my clique alr! or telling some ppl in my class-- yes, i've someone i like (i know those 4 are dying to play truth-or-truth!) but i've no idea (none at all) how to tell them they are really impt to me l: maybe thats why misunderstanding is the norm in reality huh! ): uugghhhhh i need, idk. communicative skills lessons? (GP lectures are.. a waste of time. i only rmb "communicative skill levels" and taoism and audio sth?!)

which, brings me back to the top of my post tdy! ♥

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p.s. where do i stand? really-- nothing or something?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

astons, harrypotter-ed and fish&co at suntec/ marina square area on 17nov! :D

you know, punctuality is impt! (we just had a short lecture tdy-- how singapore has no hope cos students are late for morning lectures!) hahahah suhui got the time wrong, jigme is.. "stranded" at sengkang and taxi-ed in the end. anw! hahahahh 4th time aston-ing at suntec. everytime sit different place!! LOL. talked and laughed. abt.. really, anything. especially at jigme! :D hahah! oh, and we were debating his top was white, purple or pink! lol, really, this grp of people is fun (: and gabrielle and her (disgustingly) bloody steak-thing! eeeh l: lol. jigme keep "stealing" terence's jacket and terence was really high ytd!

harrypotter! omg, (in my opinion, ofcos) its the best movie out of the series!! its funny (hilarious actually!) and well.. not-really-boring-as-others! it isnt that draggy la. and hahahah! i left the threater with some "question marks" but not as much as halfbloodprince (which i only rmb the dumb-sth guy died!!) anw, shichin is a walking harrypotter dictionary!! hhahah! i really like the movie (much to my surprise, honestly) there are so many funny parts which idk where to start! like the part harry and ginny kissed with a very avid audience! and hermione's deceptively-innocent-looking purse! and the toilet (gross) part. and in the ministry of magic ("lift" AND "mini horns"!) plus hermione's "anger" towards ron. and the interesting wand in the tent. HAHAHAH the movie is really nice.. except i went deaf. the sound effects abit too good uh?!
p.s. hahaha i was reminded of the "lift" thing in HP when sihui was trying her best to remain still on the train. hahaha pulling me along. LOL.

ate at fish&co! can i grumble about the price first? its outrageously expensive. LOL. i really left the place without a single cent on me )): not even a 5cent! anw. hahahah the two blurs (sean and jigme!) make a great pair! lol, they look super serious as they talk, but their topics arent serious at all! junjie complained that we ignore him! and unknowingly ignored shichin who was talking to him. HAHAHH! ohyes, jigme was really fascinated by sihui's blazer! back to dinner, vivian not as blur as before wor! hahah! she says her bf is blur too! LOL. wesley joined us halfway (and kept calling me bamboo/sugarcane-- which i must say, is totally untrue) oh, i explained why pH -1 exists, until i nearly confused myself. HAHAHAHH!
p.s. im swearing off fish&co. for good! my wallet is still in the hospital! ):

i was damn tired when i rch home. hahahaha! did i walk alot? HMMM!

went lunch (MOS BURGER) and window shopping with sihui! hhaha! which was fun! hmm took some photos! i guess.. i shall bully my brother into uploading them tml! :D lunch was rather nice except..
p.s. terence! i had 100% sugar for KOI! hahaha! and um. honestly? it isnt that sweet la! its just nice :D :D sihui's 50% is almost tasteless! :O

i cnt decide! am i shy or antisocial? hahaha! i saw my classmates at J8 while innocently having lunch w sihui! ))): LOL. and apparently they saw me (despite me hoping otherwise!) too! ohyea, i was telling sihui how they were talking to me in school after lectures.. and she said i sounded harrassed. LOL. anw! and we saw nyjc tutors at .. MOS?! um. v uh, "fortunate" for us! hahah!

and i saw janice (WHEW, not the guys!) ard orchard like, twice??? LOL. once in school after lectures, once at bishan, once at somerset, once at orchard!!
p.s. we are so pro at walking around! lol. tho me sihui and janice complain of leg pain )))):

oh anw! window shopping! hhahahahha dragging my mother off to shopping tml! hah! it wont be window shopping tml alr! LOL.

and.. back to lecture (unfortunately!) h1 and h2 econs squeeze inside lt4! mygoodness, nvr knew that many ppl took econs! even when some classes *ahem* skip lectures! LOL. some poor souls gotta sit on the floor.. meaning my class guys la. HAHAH! for an hour? heh. anw. there was this loud irritating static sound! and the lecturer said "lets try to ignore this bg music". okay, im mean la! LOL. but really, bg MUSIC?? i suppose economists dont understand english much?? hahahha (i couldnt help it) and i went to repeat bg music, music, MUSIC, bg music?!! and made the ppl near me laugh along. HAHAH! oh, and sihui too! when i recounted it for her!

christmas decorations are up at orchard! there's this nice big pale PURPLE christmas tree outside.. ION. i think. (im nvr good at directions!) its nice! :D and hahahah me and sihui walk all over orchard to find far east! LOL. hahaha we became the more mature-and-sensible & less lame-and-idiotic dora-the-explorers tdy! :D

i realise.. hahahha i've been posting more regularly and.. with increasing details on my blog! am i compensating for my lack of determination to have a diary? hahahha! and i found out my archive is a total fail. LOL. any idea how to get the by-month archive?? mygoodness, i need help. LOL. its a mess!!

... not sure if i want to cont Vampire Diaries. okay, its nice and all. but, seriously, im not sure how long i cn stand seeing Elena and Stefan "looking" at each other?!?! and sihui )): really, you dont have to tell me the pda-ness (im sure there's no such word! i should probably stop coining words..) of my classmate right ): now you cn imagine what torture my eyes went through during 1017 bbq! :O hahah!

yes or no? keep doing wtv youre doing or change sth? sometimes, decisions in life can be rather simple. but, LOL. first, deciding yes-or-no is the difficult part. and i realise i cnt decide. does sth/someone which/who make you laugh and smile like an idiot count as a yes??

p.s. blackberry? torch (ex) or bold (cheaper) ? hmmm l:

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

nostalgia.

i saw an old lady enjoying her ice cream. and another playing happily with a little kid. omg, and i got nostalgic. (': simple things can be a source of contentment and happiness (: have you found your source? (: (: (:

chem olymp.. finally ended! LOL. wooh. no more boring, draggy, abstract conceptual chemistry lessons in frigging cold rooms! damn happy abt it. hahahah! especially no more lessons in the cold rooms part! and i tell you, forget abt chem olymp being a good experience. seriously. the "setter" is a person who has a curious(-er) mind! some qns are really ridiculous!!

Qn17 (I STILL RMB THE QN NO?!) which element here is not named after a place? californ-sth, dub-sth etc etc.

may i ask you: what is your reaction when you read this qn?!!! (a) surprise (b) horror (c) confusion (d) impulse-to-laugh-out-loud (e) all of the above!

fyi, MCQs have 5 options, sth like what i listed!

btw, mr wan is weird. LOL. he said sth like-- all scientists should come tgt. and study. uh.. yea. he said that during ytd's lesson. and it was a compulsory lesson! so.. 5 out of 14 came. LOL.

we're gonna be fine

we can win the fight

with a little bit of love

we can see the light

with a little bit of love

it'll be alright

my dear girls, how are you holding up? rmb my "hotline" (hey! im sure youre more familiar w my no. than im!) okay? (: (: (: *HUGS*

what can i do? how can i help? you've no idea how it is like for me.

have i ever mention on my blog that jc is such a sad sad sad institute? people just get stressed and unhappy and dissatisfied with life. and oh, im sure we are damn glad to leave the secondary school! and then to enter the self-imposed two-year-imprisonment in jc. i think im being cynical, but still.

my sister was saying: actually GP can be practiced and trained one.. (pause) its like writing blogs. just that its more structured.

um. im sure almost all jc students wont agree with the over-optimistic-and-simplified view of my sister. LOL

oh, my mother thinks im nuts.

me: *makes a loud inaudible scream-like sound*

my mother: *comes running out of the kitchen* what what what?!

me: got Mentalist!!

my mother: what mentalist?!

me: TVVV!!

my mother: chey!!

p.s. im going to watch The Mentalist tdy! wooh! :D :D :D

Sunday, November 14, 2010

mygoodness ): there's school tml. TSK! i bet it'll be damn quiet and empty (just like on friday!) ohwell. hahhahaha! i pon-ed chem for the surprise on 12th nov. anw, on the school litespeed portal, the tutors were expressing their (extreme) displeasure over our lack of display of commitment. LOL. huh. after reading that, i suddenly felt damn glad that i pon-ed chem. HAHAHH! weird, but still.

hardly did anything tdy! well, other than daydream (which is somehow, a frequent habit of mine recently) and reading storybooks! and well. (sadly) got started and stuck on electromagnetic spectrum. i made an effort to google the references given! its not of much use l: in any case.. i should read Organic Chemistry: Carbonyls, Carboxylic Acids & Derivatives before i sleep. or sth (yes, i do know i sound like i've no life at all!!) D:

it somehow.. felt normal now. idk, sth's still off. but its feels more like you now. i guess i should be contented with that alr (: well, im alr luckier than the majority. i suppose. please be happy. (:

hahahah my goodness. did i get myself a bodyguard?? LOL. terence is weird. hahaha!

*~+TEr3n[E+~* 《跨时代》 says:
~~yes. xiao jie is a good girl~~
lol seriously i will fail as a bodyguard if i can't protect u frm diabetes =_=

hahahah i found it damn funny. to the horror of the poor guy. LOL. ohyea, its bcos we were on the topic of cotton candy (WOOH!) and high sugar intake! he finds it horrifying that i added 5 sugar packs into a cup of hot coffee. LOL and i shouldnt tell him i added 7 packets before, once!

p.s. i guess, im still more comfortable w the npgg grp! i think my class guys are weird. in general. seriously. LOL.