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Saturday, October 16, 2010

i promise,
i'll smile after this. (:
did
im really trying. when i told you i agree, i meant it. i really naively thought that as we grow older, problems will become simpler and life would be carefree and damn easy. i thought that studies would always be manageable. that friends would forever be there and there will never be any conflicts. that i'll like a guy and there wont be any problems at all. that nothing, nothing like that year would ever happen again. so what if they showed obvious favourism towards my brother? so what if they made me feel so unwelcomed? so what if they dont care about me? i care about them. but why. why one after another, they become sick. why. why wont my parents tell me anything abt them? i know, i know deep down that she doesnt have much longer left. i know she's hurting now. i know, if my parents ever tell me abt her, it wont be any good news. i know. but i really dont know how much more of this i can take. where is my breaking point? have i reach it yet? or have i long passed it, but simply refuse to acknowledge it. i really hate myself. right now, i dont need any comforting words. i dont need anyone to save me. all i want, is someone. just someone to talk to me. to crap to. i know im not alone. but its really hard to feel that way. ytd.. was really great. i always hated my birthday ever since that year. i never wanted to celebrate my birthday, knowing she wont be there. despite that, i was genuinely happy ytd (: thank you. idk what i will do if you guys werent there. can you understand?
i'll be fine. i'll be strong.
you
i think, random-ness runs in my family. like, seriously! my sister told me, she was told that this bowl is chip and break-resistant! she din believe, so she dropped the bowl onto the floor. LOL. just to see whether its true ornt?! she siao one right! no wonder im not exactly normal too! :O oops! hahahaha
but hey! i've nvr tried dropping a bowl on the floor to test anything de hor! :D
read
had chocolate 'lava' cake and icecream just now! wooh! damn shiok (; hhahaha the chocolate was great! but damn ex ): i think my sister is seriously broke ): she's damn nice right! (: since she's my sister! lol
chocolates.
that
another day.
part?
buckets! (;
random :D


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