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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

6june

finee weimei since u say that if i update about this i will feel better i shall do it then.

my brother just came home.when he came home he dingdong-ed the bell like he urgently needed the toilet,bt he wasnt.i was a lil slow coz i was doing smth on the internet and had to tell my grandpa to sit down i go and open the door for my brother.cant he be a lil more considerate?!when i opened the door he gave me that look.that angry look.when i rang the bell he also takes his own sweet time.say w8 ar watch tv for afew more sec.s then open the door.if its my sis he will quickly go open the door.after opening the door he came to the comp. room and shouted at me when i used the comp.i said 1+ he:why so late! as if i will lie to him liddat.and he:zo ji dian cai ke yi yong! until 3+ i will stop. he gave me the look as if i killed his parents or i landed him in jail liddat.hit the bed stormed out of the room and banged the door.after that my mom called and wanted to talk to my brother.i went to give him the phone and he stared at me and scratched my hand.

is it my fault to pass him the phone?is it my fault to open the door?is it my fault to tidy my room and use the comp. at 1+?is it is it?

why is he always doing this to me?did i owed him anything?is he expecting me to smile at him and say thank you?im his sister.no matter what he also has to give me a lil respect.i din scold him i din shout at him i din hit him i din scold vulgarites at him.i wasnt as fierce as my sis if he were to do that to my sis.just what did i do wrong?passing the phone opening the door tidying my room and using the comp ltr?am i wrong?am i?

why is he capable of making me cry?why?if my mom din dote on him so much maybe he wont be like this.if my mom din make me to give in to him all the time maybe he wont be like this.if my mom din always see me in the wrong maybe he wont be like this.

im really tired.i dont want to think abt this brother le.why must i always cry because of him?why must i always break my promise to god because of him.why cant he be mroe considerate.be more patient.be more..

ur tell me what to do with this brother..today isnt the worst le..he always shout vulgarites at me if hes at a worse mood.do ur ever see a younger brother treat his elder sister like this?im really a failure at being a sister.

i always believed in this:
there are people in this world who try to hurt you,but there are also people who get hurt because you are hurt.
now i believe that my brother is in the group who tries to hurt me.and wont feel bad abt it.and will still hurt me over and over again.

i really feel like crying..i really want to give up..i really want to forget about this..i really want..