{♥}

2012-01-11T10:36:00.007+08:00

the bright side; frankly, i think this is very true! life is not a bed of roses. nothing goes perfectly the way you want them to be! so, the crux is seeing the good in things, turning bad into something good :D which, i must admit, isnt easy!!!!

agree? I AGREE!!! lolol!! (okay la, the 'eating it takes five minutes' not that true for me since i eat sooo slowly! but still!) hahahaaha! and im still not entirely over the fact he's going to be enlisted so soon. but.. i guess, at least we had all those memories! and i wont be there to see him getting enlisted. ohgosh. and i wont see him from 22nd jan till march ):

and unfair. i really want more time with my entire clique tgt!!! )': everyone's gna do things and all.. but i believe we'll find a way!! :D HEH, YES, C, I KNOW LOVE HAS NO REASONS, LOLOL, YOU MADE ME GRIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT CAN!

and unfair! my brother irritates me sometimes so muchhh! but i still love him. hahahahah his 17th birthday tdy! *groans* he still feels like a kid to me can!!but.. the fair (awesome) part is, memories never die! :D thank God! :Ddeath scares me. not bcos im scared of dying. but more bcos of the people left behind.. okay, what a morbid topic to talk abt! be thankful that youre living and breathing! life may suck, awful things may happen, but everything, anything can be turned around for the better as long as youre alive!right? *tries desperately to look at the bright side* (:

simply put, everything happens for a reason. difficulties, problems, obstacles and what it may be, after overcoming those, whats stopping you from achieving your goal? they may seem so daunting, but they serve as an opportunity to make you stronger. what doesnt kill you make you stronger! right?

thats me. practically lazing around these days! hahahaah! lazing around: smsing, doing craft, reading, listening to music, watching drama, chatting, talking to family, laughing at family, being laughed by family..

i must admit, im actually pretty greedy! but, thank God i've so much (: (: what about you? should you be thankful or bearing a grudge? count your blessings, not your troubles. (troubles can be endless and mentally draining to keep count!)

2012-01-02T10:43:00.005+08:00

a new year, a gift;

i wish for everyone to be well! to be able to sleep peacefully ((: like that cute adorable little boy! :D hahahaha kinda greedy, aint i? idealism, optimism, anyway, i love the idea that everything will be fantastic for everyone! :D

it doesnt have to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, you know. i know im very very lucky (: i've my family, my boyfriend, my clique, my friends.. and most imptly, i've God. i've so many sanctuaries (:

have you given thanks for them? have you been a sanctuary to them?

count your blessings, not your troubles!

but sometimes, its easier said than done right! 2012.. the year i'll move on to uni, the year my boyfriend gets enlisted, the year C and S having their A's while the rest of us having our new (scary) uni life, the year my brother cont his post-sec studies, the year i might get my first job, the year i'll go overseas with my aunts&uncle, the year.. it sounds so daunting and terrifying! but, well, one step at a time! (: what can be so scary that you cant face with so much support right? (:

the other day, i was asked, what do you do when you wake at 8?!!! hahaahh give someone morning calls? :D hahhaah quite fun actually lololol!

2011-12-25T13:32:00.011+08:00

joy to the world,
the Lord is come. xmas lights and trees fascinate me alot! hahahaha! esp last night at orchard! the view is a-mazing! :D hahahaha and the sound of shaking-the-foam-thing is really foreboding even tho it doesnt hurt to get sprayed!!!

xmas spirit, people? (((:

first xmas with my boyfriend! {loves}
and ofcos, first xmas at hogc!

happiness: it is not found in a place
it is found in a Person
it is found in People
it is found in Purpose
when was the last time you laughed/grinned/smiled genuinely? :Dif you have that ability?youll see beauty in life (:

merry CHRISTmas, everyone! :D have a lovely day ahead ((:

will you smile, please? (;

2011-12-12T19:43:00.010+08:00

sometimes, you just need abit of faith; (:

just take a moment and think about it ((:

dont let your past keep you from cherishing your present (:

i'll be fine, you'll be fine, we'll be fine. everyone will be fine bcos everything will work out just fine (: if things dont look great, thats bcos that is not the end yet.

hahahahha this puts me in the xmas mood (: the mood of thanksgiving and sharing joy!

it meant alot to me when my friends tell me how happy they are for me (((: i've love, family and friendship! count my blessings (:i did mention how gorgeous all the girls were right? :DDD ♥

"spreading the happiness" as what you called it! (:

everyone deserves to be happy (:

P/S i feel like the luckiest girl alive, despite everything! (10.12.11)

2011-12-06T09:33:00.007+08:00

magickkkk dinner&dance (hey, wheres the dance part?!) last night! :D hahahahhah it got much btr towards the end! i should just save my criticism and skip to the fun parts! the part where students, tchrs, and even the P went up to stage to lead the 70s dance are hilarious! coupled with the mc's lol-ish comments! hahahah and the part where we go ard taking photos& hugging/shaking hands! :D :D

all the girls look so pretttyyyyyyyyy! :DDD hahahahaha! once the photos are up (E, hurry up!!), i might upload here! heh, my class girls look so pretty too! :D lolol i hugged P, and the two of us were like, OMG YOU SO SKINNYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! lolol. i think we are damn funny lol! all of us should meet up agn someday!CLIQUE, WE SHOULD HAVE A DRESS-UP DAY OR STH ((((:says who?these two pictures remind me of xmas! plus the song White Christmas puts me into the xmas mood!!! idk why! now im looking forward to xmas (((: *groans* time to think of xmas gifts :D

2011-12-01T20:58:00.005+08:00

today is a gift, thats why its called the present. time flies. really. sometimes when i stop and think about it.. this year literally flew by! would life pass by slower now that i've more free time? would i get the chance to slow down my pace, savour each moment and enjoy myself instead of getting the most amt of things done in the shortest time possible?(no, the time doesnt mean anything!)
same date, different year, different feeling. same thing, different person(s), different feeling. i suppose, you can nvr have an exact same replica of what had happened! so treasure and cherish it! keep it and store it in your heart. i vaguely rmb putting Back To December on my blog last december! or jan! (kay, i dont have perfect memory like Carrie Wells in Unforgettable!) and.. i suppose im really glad i dont feel entirely the same way i did last december! ((: its a good thing!
P/S thank God for everyone in my life! its such a random thing to say. but, its so ridiculous that having my body aching all over (without doing much! not even exercising) has convinced me that house visits and picnics are my cup of tea now! anw, i dont have the energy (or the amazing ability to split myself!) even tho i wna meet up with everyone in the shortest time possible!! ): but hey, that doesnt mean you arent impt kay?!

continuing on the ridiculous part.. really. lolol! my mother and W are convinced im actually 81years old! hhahahaha! sometimes i get tired so.. ridiculously&unbelievably easily! hahaha okay, im about to whine, so i should just stop!
i would love some quiet time. where i can just sit down, cuddle with my bear on my bed, listen to music and idk, daydream! (((: something so ordinary and simple that its almost luxurious! sth i din have the time/opportunity to do when i have had so many things on my mind! what is it that you want to do when youre free? ever thought about it?

P/S for me? the first task has been completed! :D if-you-know-what-i-mean!

there's just sth about this photo! hahahahahahaah!

2011-11-30T08:58:00.010+08:00

a circle, where an end is a beginning too; free, at last! alvls has finally ended! marking the end of jc life too? right aft our final (!!!) alvls paper, my class had a bbq :D hahahaha!
tbh, i actually felt let down bcos i tot i would feel.. more once A's ended! aft all, its been anticipated!!! well anw, when i saw what the tchrs replied when they said they couldnt make it for the bbq.. in particular mrs R's!! i really felt nostalgic ):
thank you 1017 for the very interesting, fun promising BBQ party, but i regret to inform that i will not be able to participate in this wonderful get together as i will be going overseas. i sincerelywish that you all enjoy to your heartfelt limit as this juncture of life is very crucial. after this, adult life will start & this fun filled days will forever be the most treasured memories. i enjoyed teaching you all immensely & will forever cherish your memories. all the best for your future.

besides the fact that its horribly formal, i think i'll really miss her! )': and really, mrs W (math), ms C (gp) and mr L (chem) too! hahahahahhh esp since i received my first job offer during the bbq ytd by mr L! HAHAHAH! i think he was quite entertained by my shocked horror when he tried convincing me teaching for just one term in your own jc is very meaningful! just take 3 tutorials and practicals!!! (yes, the last part is enough to make me say a very determined no!)
i think i'd really miss the time spent with my jc class! how our tutorials will always have some random comments! lolol, and random facts during gp! eg, we were very entertained by the word "can", esp R! hahaha and his super-random comments would make even ms C go, R idk what youre thinking/talking about! lolol i wonder where all of us would go after "this juncture of life"! different keys, different paths, different destinations? hahahhaa i guess, i would keep in contact! (((: since, im so great at spamming people's inboxes!!!! (;alone time. i think, i really deserve some alone time! (: hahhaha time to put laptop and esp the phone away. play music, read a good book and enjoy a nice cup of coffee! or some art work :D hahahah i wonder if i can actually find time to do that! i supp i'll be going out alot!!! :D
P/S and i really have to get a job aft jan!unfortunately, the place selling nice& super sweet coffee near my house has closed down ): but nvm! hahahahha isnt that lil boy cute?!!! lololol! i still rmb i was allowed to drink coffee when i was young! but my grandmother always let me drink afew mouthfuls when she drinks and my parents arent around! (((:
manyyy things to do after A's! and one of them is.. dinner&dance! seeing that its my first prom-like event (din have it aft O's!), im very excited and anxious! LOL! and one of my biggest problems is the makeup!! my mother told me to do it myself!! and experiment on my own! lolol is this mother-daughter-bonding-time with.. makeup?! hahahah i think it should be quite hilarious, lol! and probably filled with mishaps!

P/S i love the earth tones! hahaha!

browsing thru tumblr.. and this caught my eye! hahaha! you know, this should be the typical kind of bag& stuff girls should have? but, for me, apparently its sorely lacking one very impt item!!! SUPERGLUE. lol! my 2nd pair of sandals spoiled in 2mths?! hahahahaha! S and i had to walk out to buy superglue.. and the bad news was the other side spoiled as we were heading home!!!!! lol! Y said they should get me 12 pairs of shoes for my birthday, one per mth, in case they spoil! HAHAHAH!the latter. (:#1 tell my parents!

#2 d&d!!!!

#3 get-togethers!!

#4 me time!

2011-10-21T22:22:00.007+08:00

my wish? for everyone to be happy! that matters.

really, life is almost like breathing and living 'studying'! had mock exams for the wk, which in a way messed up my study plan! but nvm! hahaha! at least its good practice *looks on bright side*

and i guess, lil surprises are worth alot! (; met H when i was out tdy! omg, what a shock!!! din think i'll see her till dec ): and guess what?! i saw her tdy! :DD

HEH, and i love my clique! they are so happy for me (((: and im so happy for having them! :D

heh, surprise and surprise ((: the warm fuzzy feeling.life isnt all that bad! yes, even with the coming (real soon!!!) A's! ): but, that isnt the end of the world whaattt. now im trying to be a firm believer abt having an early start and an early end!

so, look on the bright side! the faster A's come, the faster you cn stop feeling so stressed abt conquering this giant! or whatever problems/troubles youre facing! (: whats impossible unless you believe that you can never make it?

and, everyone has troubles!! dont ever think youre the only one! count your blessings and not your troubles! hahahha heard that W's classmate treat me as idol *jaw drops open* sometimes, i wonder what people see!

dont give up so easily! rmb, there's a reason why youre doing what youre doing! agreed? and yes, i could wait.H told me i get touched very easily! lolol. i guess, little things matter! like, people rmbing birthdays, even tho its been ages since we last met! (': heh, and it feels like im celebrating my birthday ever since last fri for an entire wk! how awesome (:

i really hope everyone can travel from nowhere to happiness! sounds alil hard huh? hahaha and maybe bcos im happy, i want everyone to!!! everyone deserves to be happy!

and even you. maybe im overreacting, but give yourself credit and be happy okay?

2011-09-30T21:36:00.014+08:00

are you happy today?

life IS pretty! or are you too caught up with your work and problems to see it?
life is beautiful and filled with magic and miracles! only when you believe in it! (:

watched abit of the X factor! there's this 16-year old girl? Jazzlyn little, i think? she's really not confident and totally unsure about herself! but when she started singing? WOW. really, dont doubt yourself ((:hahahaha! im not obessesed with toddlers or sth kay! but, some of them are just so cute! :D sometimes, life is pretty amazing!AH. LOL! seriously? that seems somewhat unfair!life is weird, sometimes, isnt it?

the other day.. my day was going really great!!! until towards the end, someone shared why he was down.. one day could be so good for one, and so bad for another person. its just.. odd. as if i din have the right to be happy. tskk sounds depressed!!! and.. being depressed is seriously pointless. what good does it actually do???

i wish there's a subject in school which teaches me how to cope with expectations and problems (regardless if they are mine, or others!) ! there are times i seriously have no idea what to do when people text/tell my their problems ): i really just frown at my phone! its just a terrible feeling to be helpless! so, take care okay!? besides..tml is a new day! stop repeating your old nonsense! lolol! old nonsense. interesting phrase.

still in the process of getting back prelim results.. i guess its expectations and really, seeing the results and reflecting on your own abilities/efforts? there really isnt much point competing with others bcos.. youre you! you dont judge a fish on its ability to fly, do you?!

just rmb.. at the end of the day, youre living with yourself. sth G told me the other time (: doubt she rmbs it, actually!

ah, wise words. apparently, age doesnt equate to maturity (; dont you agree? i do.mtg up with some olldddd friends tml! hahahah! nostalgiaaa. abit luh! its barely been 2 years since we left sec sch, but life has changed by quite abit! hahahah at least for me!!

but i still think i've some great friends! :D one random J who seriously posted sth super random on my wall?! hahaha his replies are sometimes so epic that i wonder how his gf would react if she saw..! and H whose replies are almost always so happy! :D hahha and S' comments sometimes are very.. amazing!!

me: hahahah mock exams seriously start on my birthday leh! lololol
him: :O how can like that!! thats ridiculous!! but i guess it will be easy cause ur the birthday girl n luck will be with u (:

LOL, seriously? hahahah!

here's what im thinking of! sleep (yes, and not studies! really. tml morninggg!) and..ohmygosh, comfort food! hahahaha! dont they just look awesome?! :D (and yes agn, im human too. and yes, i do need comfort food sometimes!)

and i suddenly feel like eating yogurt. and frozen yogurt. i hope Red Mango is nice! or else i'll feel so bad towards R!

SO. are you happy today?

2011-09-23T20:23:00.011+08:00

cherish, and be cherished. hahahahahah! arent they cute?! :D i've been seeing many manyyy cute toddlers recently :D totally made my day! i wonder, what makes your day? ever spent time thinking abt that?

isnt she pretty?! *JEALOUS* hahahahahah!

this image actually reminded me that things are really simple at times! we shouldnt over-complicated things! heh, and that small things matter! (;

omg, so adorable! hahahah the book looks huge bcos he's so tiny!

oooh! reminds me of sth S smsed me the other day! i miss her so!! she quoted from pretty little liars: "i was very nervous cos youre so tiny and i love you!" :DD

reminded me of my own bear! hahaha! except, mine is cuter obviously! :D hahaha still rmb S and J joking that the bear could cover me!!!

and i love black&white images! im not exactly a fan of black/white! but photo-wise..!! dont you love the feel a black&white photo give? :D the timeless feeling?

which reminds me.. nostalgia! chatting with my friends on fb- omg, i miss those times ): even tho i wasnt close to A or J then for that matter! hahahahah! miss secondary sch days, in a way, i guess! hahaha miss the retarded stuff i do with them! sec sch life had ended, and jc life is almost coming to an end alr!! )):

why do we cherish/miss aft we've lost them? heh, isit just human? to take things for granted!

i like the vintage feeling! hahahaha! but i doubt i'll ever be a photographer! prefer looking at the end results (((:

randommm! X totally reminded me of C the other day! (W, dont you think so?!) hahaah her jokes are so epic! i ended up laughing at her (terrible!) choice of words than the joke (which was seriously not funny!) Lolol, W and X said that my reactions were way funnier than the joke!

i laughed like mad when i received this sms.. okay, so, i was asked "does your family have problems receiving hints? bcos you know youre always so blur!" LOL. seriously, i blur meh?! V is really more blur lor!!!pretty!

pretty pretty please, dont you ever, ever feel, like youre lesss than, less than perfectttt
(okay, seriously dk why this song pop in my head!)

oh. hahahaha! A, if youre reading this, im just glad that my blog can make you happier! :D even tho i dont see how my blog is always happy! (odd, how ppl give the same feedback! hahaha annoyingly happy? :D) hahahah! i feel quite bhb actually! LOL. "its very encouraging and induces though of many things of life. i just start thinking about everything when i read XD it's very good!! the pics speak wonders- and youre very helpful and nice!!!" *coughs* okay, doesnt sound like me alr!okay, look at that picture, and think abt what it brings into mind!

so? what did you think abt? hahahah! i tot abt life. future. choices. possibilities. sometimes, the things we do.. we dk why we are actually doing them for! eg, studying! am sure its applicable to many! we cnt see the direct consequences of studying (or the lack thereof!) but, we all know we cnt not study in the environment we now live in! anw! but, life and our future holds many possibilities :D you may not see it now, but you know there are! (((:

hahahaha! ever heard of this? even if you work hard, you may not succeed. but if you do not work hard, youll definitely not succeed!!!

true? i actually found it motivating! (kay, dont say im weird hor!) and, what makes success so sweet is bcos it nvr is easy to achieve it! wont it lose its meaning if everyone can succeed so easily?

so work hard! otherwise, youll live to regret it! (so be happy! otherwise youll find life pretty much meaningless!)

black&white!! okay, i really dk whats with my fascination with the colour!

P/S i like the mustache at the top! looks so cute!!!

P/P/S im just human too..

2011-09-07T20:36:00.016+08:00

Love never fails.
1 Corinthians
looks yummy?! hhahahah! ohgosh, i want dessert. comfort food! :D *shakes head* going crazy over dessert these days!!hahahah true? i think so! perhaps, a warped way of looking at things!you see what you want to see. youll find what youre looking for. if youre unhappy with life, and determined to find flaws, youll really find resentment and unhappiness. and in a way, its self-prophecy!

thats perhaps why when you feel like your life is falling apart.. without knowing why, you see so many problems! big, huge, daunting mountains to overcome!

and, why some people are almost always happy! bcos they put their mind to looking at the good. the happy side of things, life, people.. everything and anything!
look around you! im sure you can find pretty gorgeous people/things! hahahaha! idk, kids really have a way of making me smile! making my day better!

when youre feeling so stressed that you cnt breathe, why dont you stop, take a break, and really look around? (:

sometimes, thats life right? not just living, and getting by, but finding purpose in life. knowing what you want, and actually working towards it! your purpose in life, defines you, i guess.so, who are you? what defines you?
hahahahaha! there is very funny thing.. okay, so i've this friend(1) who likes my other friend(2)! so.. 1 bought this pair of keychains for charity. 2 saw it, said its nice; so 1 gave one keychain to her! HAHAHAHAH only to realise ltr that its actually a couple keychain! lolol! he called it, the stupidest thing he has ever done! LOL. and me being such a good friend, i just keep laughing! hahahahahah!

dont you love life's natural highs? isnt life's hurdles and ironies just almost worth overcoming? (:

and, thats love. i think.

i love my clique. and we've been through so so so much! and i really want all of us to cont this very special clique-ship forever and ever (: come on, there are so many secondary schools, and hey! the 6 of us end up in the same one! with me being the only one who lives so darned far away! but anw! hahahah! we stayed in the same class for 4 years! and we are still in contact now! i only know im gna be so pissed off if any one of you decides to let go! heyyy, rmb C gave us the address? (((:

i told C, if i've changed (for the worse), i want her to scold me! and make sure i "wake up"! and guess what she told me?! she'll copy and paste my blog! LOL. k, dk what she's thinking, that crazy girl! ((:

heh, H's love sms was really right on time (((: H, do you read this?!! hahahaha!

P/S im really fine!

there are so many reasons why you cry! tears of loneliness, of sadness, of regret, of pain.. and of joy, of surprise, of love!

hahahah i still rmb the time we surprised C during her birthday.. she cried! and the DM tot she was bullied!!! hahahahaha! all the memories (: and i really do want to celebrate her birthday so much ))):

P/P/S i miss seeing all of you!

2011-08-29T20:26:00.006+08:00

just bcos its you. do you have that someone? someone who can make you smile, without even putting in the effort? doesnt have to be your other half; it could be your closest friends/family.. are you that someone to somebody else?

tbh, when i think about it, i think i really am quite peaceful. hahahaa not exactly my reactions.. but how im when i face troubles/situations? its not that im confident that i'll solve the problem. but more bcos i know things will work out. not bcos im me, but bcos He is God.

there's just so many things to be thankful about; so many things to smile about! you're alive. you're a complete person. i really cnt say how impt/amazing life is. perhaps, until you've lost someone you love, or youre fighting for your life, you may not know just how precious life is!life has its ups and downs. sometimes your situations arent fantastic. sometimes your future looks so bleak. but hey, its still sth worthwhile, and possible pretty!

there are so many ways your life could get better. but, i know, there are one million and one ways for my life to get worse than the current situation!ups and downs. beginnings and ends. sometimes, life is like a full circle.. you wont end up in a dead end so long as you keep looking and never give up. but its easier said than done, isnt it? find your purpose (((: be it a person, a target.. as long as it gives meaning to life (:

dont be obtuse!

btw, whats your first impulse/inclination? when you've a problem, do you keep it to yourself or find someone to talk to? i think.. im more accustomed to being a listener, so i tend towards the former. i din realise until D mentioned it! my first reaction would not be to find someone, but figure it out on my own.. its sth like, i wont tell you if you dont ask! unless its severe enough!! does that sound healthy? hmmm

hahahhaa and i realise i know alot of confidential stuff!!! lolol. pretty interesting.
rmb i said i'd post this very-pretty image of dessert?! yummm!!!! i prefer looking at gorgeous, delicious food to eating them! LOL.

P/S imagining these desserts and how yummy they taste.. makes you fat?! think i read that somewhere D: why doesnt losing weight work this way then?!so? stop worryinggggg.

2011-08-26T20:56:00.014+08:00

dont stop believing;
it goes on and on and on and on. do you know that teacher's day is coming! went to buy teacher's day presents (: hahahah as P said, its quite an awesome feeling to keep buying and NOT having to pay! LOL. and to carry! hahahaha! the guys were like the maids :D lolol. so many bags of wrapped gifts! mostly are cushions :D

hope they will love the gifts! the cushion is really nice to huggggg!!!!!

doesnt this picture look so.. retro and vintage? :D love it! hahahaahah! looking forward to meeting my clique soon (((:

life simplified.

really, isnt the a summary of life?! except, whats "survive"? it certainly entails alot more than just the word! every stage of life, we face different challenges i guess (: the meaning of "survive" would change as we move on with life ((:

simplify things when you feel like you cant breathe. you often complicate things too much (:so keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, bcos life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

- marilyn monroe

love her quotes. hahaha but, they are usually more relevant to the girls' point of view! lolol. life is pretty, when you focus on the miracles and wonderful things. however, reality isnt a fantasy, so you cnt ignore all the negative and ugly side of life (escapism?)!

but imperfections and flaws make the good stand out, dont they? (:colouring your world

someone told me last sunday, "wah i think u gt talent be psychologist leh talk to ppl can make ppl feel btr"! i wonder if he meant it. lolol. (:

you told me once, youre so nice that i cant believe you are real. i still rmb. even what happened which caused you to feel that way. do you still rmb?

i tend to believe in the good of people. i do try to understand people. it gets tiring somedays, but i do think its worth it :D i think.. its more tiring doubting people and their intentions, dont you think? life isnt easy; there really is pretty pointless to make it even harder for yourself!

i guess, we are the harshest critics of ourselves! im not perfect. i wont even admit that im closer to perfect than imperfect! bcos, im not. i dont really believe in horoscope. i think, they are pretty.. rose-tinted. lol. they usually sound quite.. refined! for one, libra-ians? we are unreliable. LOL. that disturbed me more than "superficial/vain"! i wont say im super trustworthy, but unreliable??? and those are the bad traits of libra-ians :O
~~i think, people trust me more than i trust myself. and have more faith in me than i've in myself.~~
half the time, idk what expression im wearing! H once said she din know whats smiling/happy eyes until she saw the way i laughed! LOL. and there are times im frowning and idk it! and, sometimes, i really dk how to react.

im really not that nice. why do people think im nice? i dont see myself quite the way others see me! and i really dont think im doing much ): why are you quite touched by my efforts?apparently, writing diary/blogging is good! for one, it helps your English (im actually quite skeptical abt that!) and, makes you reflect, and possibly make you a better person! true?

i always spend ages writing/blogging! LOL. its like, my quiet time. (: and i cherish the time even more now, since i cant read books for quiet time alr!

dessert. omg, i want!!! dont they look awesome?
i accidentally deleted this pretty image of chocolate cookie topped with whipped cream, chocolate syrup and ferror rocher! ): OMG, looks damn nice! will upload it agn another time!everyone needs to feel cared for sometimes (((:

and, i think you need it. really. bcos, im really a pretty difficult person to handle l: will you? i was initially afraid the photo(s) wont appear nice. but now, im actually quite curious how it looks like! lolol. and i cnt believe.. youre crazy, you know? (((:

P/S if. if i change myself, would i still be me? would you want me to change?

2011-08-20T20:55:00.010+08:00

just smile;
nothing can break that. how's your life? have you asked yourself that today?

had a talk by D.Yeo. um. i suppose it was to inspire us to work hard for A's! suffer for the next 70 days and reap the benefits over the nxt 70 (?) years? he told us about the power of vision, the power of discipline & the power of belief.

i do believe in what he says. i really do. but more than anything, i believe everyone has a limit. ofcos we all work hard. we must. A's is the most impt exam so far. but.. it just doesnt make sense for us to.. go through hell just for the cert. i mean, youre human. you arent a computer! studying smart is really important. and, you do need sleep and rest!

brightening the grey world~

hahahahah idk if im obsessed or what. its usually not difficult to make me happy. bcos, simple. i dont believe in being upset.

i mean, wth, what for do you make yourself so sad? the world doesnt stop rotating bcos you stop smiling! you arent that impt! but youre- to ppl who care about you. why would you want to make them worry and feel upset when youre? ofcos, this doesnt mean you should be an idiot/cretin and keep everything to yourself!

heh, i love seeing little kids! i mean, they are so cute!!!!! seeing them (among others) just brightens my day :D esp, this cute little boy who was walking barefooted around Serangoon mrt! :D ahhh! so cuteeee!!! hahahah his hands are so small :D

so, what brightens your day? know what you want.
you say i dont understand, you say i wont. you say its too late, you say you've changed. i dont even know if you read this, S. perhaps as C says, i really should.. leave you alone. there's probably nth (much) i cn do which will help.

but, you need to know, you arent alone. you've friends. you do. just bcos not everyone asks about you everyday, it doesnt mean no one cares! everyone has her own life, the same way you do. you say im a people-person. people look for me and actually see me. im not. i really dont have much friends. but the people i call friends? they really are friends, people i actually talk to! C says, your statement wasnt fair. why, i asked her. she says, bcos i work hard for those friendships. friendships are a 2-way road. it wont lead to a destination if there's a roadblock on one lane! read that?

bcos Heaven knows.are these diasies? diasies, the flowers you love?

pretty?!!! hahahaha! they are so pretty. there are so many amazing creations around us! Amen (:dessert! im dying to get dessert D: chocolate lava cake with vanilla icecream.. omg, i want it so much!!!! if i could leave my house at 10pm, i might just meet up with Y for supper!! *looks at clock*its lemon, not yellow lime, you idiot :Dthe beauty of language.

i think writers.. copy one another in one way or another! D: bcos, i distinctly rmb coming across the same line before elsewhere!!!! ): but, i think that means this line is really beautiful! (((:

P/S do you rmb youre going to call me tonight, C? (; anw, i really want to celebrate her 18th with her ): i really wish i could make it on the 10th sept night )): (prelims, go away!) i hope i can make it up for her with morning instead of night!

2011-08-11T20:13:00.013+08:00

get outside everyday, and open your eyes and heart;
miracles are waiting everywhere! happiness is priceless.
every good memory, every good laugh- dont forget it! remember them! thats life (:

life may not not be tied with a bow, but its a gift!

so true.

sometimes, we grumble at life, for throwing so many rocks and challenges at us! but when we get this amazing thing in our lives.. we dont think we deserve it! i dont think its real. keep reminding me, wont you? (:rmb what i said in the previous post? just ytd? its really amazing how the Daily Bread (similar to daily devotion!) reflects what happened to me the very same day! who says God doesnt exist? i believe He does! and ytd, it was about how we should not do too much and wear too many hats! really. sometimes, i offer help.. its bcos i want to. it doesnt mean i've to all the time and i owe it to you! (gosh! dont i sound like KL?!) be grateful and nice!
p/s you should know you really are crossing your line when people are feeling angry on my behalf at the way you treat/talk to me! so? dont be an ass!

He exists :D i try my best to be nice! bcos i know everyone may not be having a nice day everyday! it may sound ridiculous and futile, but i really rather be nice than nasty.

i wont deny it- i AM weird! (everyone is, actually! in his own way!) but.. i really really dislike it when people have that face, that tone in their voice. it feels like they only see the results, and not the person, or the effort (ha! dont be shocked!) put in.

as much as im shocked with my results, im even more shocked w C's note on my script! "look! you have managed to meet expectations! bet you didnt think you could. but i know you can." WOW!

when was the last time you looked beyond and into the person youre looking at, talking to?

sth more light hearted~
pretty?! hahahaha! i paint my nails when i've the mood and time! :D so random. but no matter how much time i have, or how happy im, i wont do that to my nails! lol! i'd destroy them in no time D: hhahah H was crazy! she suggested stickers and markers for nail art?! i think we were laughing too loudly on the trains just now! hahahahaha! but nvm, we are happy~
getting my braces off this saturday! freedom to my teeth?! hhahahaha! idiot. lolol. R, J and P were scaring me on how the process would be like! R even asked if i need enesthetic for the removal of braces?!!! AHHH! funny people! (;long pretty hair! hahaha! okay la, not saying mine is! but i was quite happy when H said she was in love w my long hair :D that meant she saw the fb album (; hope i'll see her soon! with her long pretty hair down- literally and figuratively! :Dspoiled brat. LOL. my brother (being the youngest) is the baby of my family! and my sister got so angry at him. cos he was hogging the fan, uncaring of whether the whole family needs it ornt! my sis was so shocked that i always let him have the fan in the living room! even tho i agree that he needs some trg during NS.. im not sure if i bear to see him in army! D: he's still my kid brother! altho he's not a kid anymore!places to drop by! *gives up on coding* http://love-collects.blogspot.com/ & http://leilockheart.me/ - they have awesome pretty pictures!! http://collectivewritings.wordpress.com/ has inspiring essay-ish posts (:i tell myself that everyday;

2011-08-10T17:42:00.010+08:00

today: be happy
tomorrow: be happy
everyday: be happy ofcos it isnt easy to be happy. if it were, then 'happy' probably din mean happy already. there will be people who bring you down. but, if you dont let them win, youre a fighter (:

"smile. just to let others know that youre stronger tdy than youre the day before." (;sometimes, i think i dont really answer the question- all i know is its very easy to be happy these days.
hahahahahahahah i think i might be a lil evil.. but i was laughing when C kidnapped my phone and started smsing. even tho im not sure if i did the right thing by letting her have freedom during those minutes! she was serious (:just saying, i like the old ndp songs. it really isnt bcos of nostaglia, but more of, the old song lyrics speak of my feelings more than the new ones.

how often do you stop everything youre doing when you hear a song which describes exactly what youre feeling or brings back memories?

went Esplanade and Marina Square, fully intending to watch the fireworks! but, the atmostphere was... the crowd. the way people just squeeze towards you! D: all my friends and i were so sian, unable to get our spirits up to enjoy the performance! and so, we did the right thing by leaving :D

it may seem silly and stupid, since we were under the hot sun for ages (6 hours?!) and then we decided to leave! but, hey, it was really for the better! we enjoyed the aircon (which was awesome!) and laughed much more than we did under the ridiculous hot sun (the wind was very nice but..) i guess, enduring and knowing firsthand how it really din suit us, caused us to make the right choice! which, really reminds me of studies. :O really. (: dont be afraid to make the decision to repeat. i think it really makes less sense to continue, knowing you arent ready and making yourself so unhappy.
make the choices which make you happy! (: i dont want to care. i tell myself that, but i dont listen.
i worry alot. idk. over my brother, my family. my classmates, my friends. the special people in my family. i really worry alot. C tells me to stop worrying. stop trying to help. concentrate on my work and A levels! but..which is precisely why i want to help. why i cant stand seeing people upset, unhappy, stressed. even when i know theres nth much i can do.. i still want to try. but i know very well, i may not be the right person to cheer someone up over studies. from past and present experiences. *sighs* BUT I STILL WANT TO HELP. sheesh. i think i got my stubbornness from my dad! (:dont judge people. you never know what they have gone through!

///

i was shocked. more-than-just-shocked! J spends ard 150$ a week! which is really, more than my monthly expenses :O wow. hahahahaha its quite funny how C responded and the rest of us (esp W and J) reacted when she said "guys! J here has spoiled the market! he buys presents for his gf every week! ... *pause* 50 to 70$ each time!" hahahahha J's mouth literally drop open! lolol. i hope they last. but i think his gf should/would actually want more of J's time and attention, rather than expensive gifts :O and he actually left his gf with his parents last night :O hahaha listening to J talk, really makes me really shocked and amused! and, worried too. haiyo.

and, awesome friends (((: receiving a text by H telling me to jy! and a tired-and-stressed W!

OHCRAP. time to go back to studies. everyday, be happy (: thinking of happy memories works too :D

btw, why am i not shocked that my printer has problem? D:

im very veryyy lucky. i've special someone and people in my life (: plural! with Him, them and a happy attitude, i believe i can last through this year! i wont give up (:

with a thankful heart,

2011-08-06T19:46:00.010+08:00

i think i'll try defying gravity,
and you wont bring me down.
according to the lunar calender, today is the 7th day of the 7th month. meaning? chinese valentines! and i only know this few days ago! tsk tsk. i wonder.. why is the english Valentines more known than the chinese valentines? i like the wind. i like the scenery. i like the fact that we have such a long wkend (trying to forget abt the stack of work plus upcoming tests) if only i could have a good book and a cup of ridiculously sweet iceblended coffee with caramel.. well, i dont! but im making do with Pretty Little Liars and chocolate icecream! everyone deserves a treat now and then! warmth. different people, different emotions, different memories. what do you think of when you see this?
i felt like i just walked back into the past when D came over to sit with me during lecture! it was as if we were back to the good old secondary school days! when we can really.. not do anything in school and not regret it! how D and i would crap during lesson. do ridiculous stuff when we are bored, eg, measuring eyelash! hahahaha! how any one of the Six would do stupid things. together.

W, rmb the white hair incident at the library? im sure S and i wont forget! (((:

could we preserve memories?

btw, i wonder what happen to our rings! i miss us together.

pretty?
some things still shine in the dark. even when we are down, there will be something reminding us why we even try hanging on in the first place. P, rmb what you told me? hang on.

i wonder if we'll get to see fireworks on the 9th! and when we'll see one another agn ): as compared to last year, i think all of us have been seeing one another less! would absence make the hearts fonder? LOL.
and im truly relieved to know that A's r/s problem has appeared to pass! tsk, i really feel like strangling his gf D:
and isit just me or do we just have this insane urge of wanting to strangle the gfs of our friends bcos they are being unreasonable and insensitive? hahahah i know H has this urge too! violent tendencies! :D i think its subjective. but on average, how many smses does a teen send a month? is 10 000 really alot? :O hahahaha tbh, i've no idea at all where all my smses went to! and nobody seems to believe that i'll be able to cut down ): apparently S is considered a reason!

happpyy. there's just sth abt you! i cnt help but think what do others see. what they think. why do they always tell me (along the line) 'so sweeettt!' ? or have this funny expression on their face! i dont understand. but i only know im happy! is that enough?

btw, i still find banana milk tea a weird combination! and i cnt believe i tried a sip!

///// have you ever thought that no matter what you do, its never enough? that why cant others understand you? why cant they put themselves in your shoes?

i know i do. especially when it comes to my parents. but it reminds me of what my UG teacher once told us. the only reason why we ask and expect things of you, its bcos we trust you. we know youll get things done. if we do not think you have that capability, we'll not let you do anything. and i try to convince myself, maybe thats true.

look at the right places, youll find sth that will cheer you up! promise.

2011-07-30T15:42:00.015+08:00

for every girl,
there's a boy with a glue gun. tml will be the last day of July 2011. no matter what you do, no matter how much you want time to stop, no matter how much you regret the way you spent the past month, time will not stop or rewind for you. sad isnt it? ): so, never ever let time go to waste. bcos, youll never get it back. dont waste time feeling sad!dont forget who you are (: dont just live by other people's standards. youll be a prisoner to them ): i guess, you can say people are greedy. the more you give, the more they take, and the more youll end up giving. ): be fair and kind to yourself!! have faith, you wont be beaten down (:sometimes, i do wish that a day has more than 24 hours! more time to clear work, more time to spend on myself, more time to spend with my family, more time for friends and more time to think about you. but, a day has 24 hours. thats a fact. we cant change it--

hahahahaha imagine, in the future, looking back and think of us crazily finishing our tutorials, revisions, preparation for a new week etc.. lol, will we feel a sense of accomplishment? if success come easily, i guess, it will really lose its worth then.

there is sth new and good in everyday. do you see it?

but, sometimes, its really a whole load easier-said-than-done right? there's nth difficult in saying things will get btr, but it is difficult to actually believe it.

there are times, it really feels like.. is this all it is to life? have you heard of the acronym t.i.r.e.d? torn apart, insecure, really faking my smile, extremely sad and drowning in my tears? ): amazing what random stuff you cn find on tumblr! but it is true that "tired" is such a convenient excuse. who hasnt use it before anw?another thing. above everything else, you really should have moved on. you shouldnt feel that feelings is a one really complicated thing.thats the bottom line of life (: of how life should work (:
i love this quote! (((:hahahahhaha was talking to my brother just now.. i was laughing at this image, where the elder sister is reading a book on "how to make a mess and blame it on your younger sibling for dummies" and the younger brother is reading "avoiding blame for dummies". LOL. my brother put on an annoyed face while i was amusing myself! hahahahhah! but hey! i've never created a mess and blamed it on my brother okay! ((((:so young. i doubt i can do that alr D: and no, im not so light that 2 balloons can carry me to the sky!! i miss swings tho ): why did we ever want to grow up faster?!*random* i realise i hvnt seen V's bf before!! since last year till now ): and that image totally reminds me of their album! hahahahahha! im dying to see that two blur people togetherrrrrr! hahaha i think it'll be damn fun for us! ((:thankyou. thankyou for the big and small things that you do. i really like them! but im not good with those actions myself! youre amazing. and im sure a million and 2 balloons will carry you to the skyyyyyy!

i love the ending of the book. the way the story develops. how a cynic and jaded person opens her heart and finds love in the most unlikely place. the symbolic reason behind her gift, and how the guy keeps it in his new life. and perhaps how nobody's life is perfect, even when it seems like it is a bed of roses.

laugh as much you breathe, and love as much as you live.

2011-07-17T09:25:00.013+08:00

the living moment is everything.
be amazed!
love the clouds. i could spend the whole morning looking at the clouds, listening to music and just dreaming!
and btw, laughing at the most unexpected moments! Snape's anguish cries at HP finale and a swinging Sam at Transformers! group hug ytd (((: hahahahaahha D, i think our idea of lunch involves looking at you eat (;love exists (: hahahaha all 3 of us stared at C when she called us secondary school friends. LOL. C, rmb! its clique! or best friends. we are absolutely one-of-a-kind (((: where else can you find us? :Dyoure amazing, you know? and.. now, ferrero rocher has 3 distinct different meanings to me (:it actually isnt hard to be happy. and contented. but, that might probably be bcos i've alot. really, what more can i ask? a person who surprises and makes me happy. a clique which stays tgt even when all of us has problems of our own. a family who accepts bcos 70% failed gp *rolls eyes*
the suddenly-cooperative class who has an unusual liking to 'musical chairs'?! im not sure if i should be amused or horrified!just so you know.why are you so anxious about the ending instead of enjoying the story? the journey? its good to have a goal, but dont over-do it. the end isnt everything! (: a good book is not one which has a happy ending. all books have happy endings! it is one which can make you happy when you read and imagine how the happy ending would be like.have you moved on? bcos i've. and i want you to have done so too.dont pray for life to be easy, but pray for yourself to be strong.

for strength, Amen.

2011-07-10T13:01:00.013+08:00

the most amazing of all,
the best of now and here. myes have ended! (((: saw the ~~crazy~~ SOWs for t3, but still, no idea exactly how hectic it will get! and no idea how my results will be like. or for my friends. but well, seriously, no point worrying over now. whats done is done! look ahead (: or else, youll forever be stuck in the past. and why would you want that..?which reminds me of ms C message. LOL. you live every moment just once! make it count ((: you cnt rewrite the pages of your past! hahahahhah i was very amused at the end bcos she was encouraging us to watch Harry Potter! LOL

so, people, look ahead! (((: btw, pretty braids?
adorable. how can anyone not smile when you see a cute, smiling kid?!
it may be difficult, but i assure you, its not impossible.since exams ended on thurs, i've been out! sunday/tdy is the only day im home throughout! LOL. i've lots of fun (((: it.. kindof scares me, bcos i cnt rank out of the 3 days, which day i enjoyed myself the most! if i really have to rank, and be really honest with myself, youre ranked right at the top!unplanned moments make it all the more real and memorable.

the surprise. the girly talks! laughing over retarded images. hahahahha misunderstanding "move over"! giving present 4mths earlier!
and how your are so happy for me (':
hope. hope that everything will work out in the end (: if it doesnt work out, its not the end yet.very happy, and very very tempted. do you know what you've gotten yourself into?ever had the feeling of "lost&found"? regardless in terms of yourself or your belongings? when you lose sth important to you, it actually feels like a part of yourself is lost. and the absolute euphoria when its found ((((: its so amazing.there will be moments in life when you feel so alone, so insecure, so insufficient. but, there will always be reminders-- telling you, hey, youre just awesome. youre pretty. youre adequate. youre exactly how you should be.

i've really random friends! J is as awesome as he's random! hahaah! he'll shave his hair botak if he gets 60 likes? i hope hes not going to "shave his hair half botak" since he got 30 likes!! LOL. and, the idiotic emo-as-usual A who says im evil. and then cute&innocent *chokes* funny guy. i hope his gf would just stop giving him grief and heart attacks ): and H who says i shouldnt text sad faces bcos it makes him sad. HAHAHAHAHA!happy.

2011-07-01T12:41:00.016+08:00

against all odds;
have faith.
i like being happy. i like making people happy. can life get any better? (((:
P/S i know myes dont make ppl happy! ):{feeling cheered bcos i saw this.}
hahahah! i feel very happy when i came across this! im loved. no matter what i do, He loves me. i guess, this is really a comfort. esp in times of a bad day (: if you believe in Him, youll know that youre loved. everyday. (((:
{look ahead.}
no matter how hard life gets, rmb there's always road/possibilities ahead. even when life deals a bad hand, dont give up. dont lose to life. you can beat it.
read many awesome verses which got me thru the first week of myes (: just read this one; it doesnt matter if you arent a Christian.

I am leaving you with a gift-- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.

- John 14:27

hope you enjoy it (: and! *refers to second image* thats why you need and have friends (: what are friends for anw? ((:

P/S H, youre awesomeee! hahaha! its really nice to be encouraged for a (very welcomed!) change! :DD
{random.}

my idea of getting a break from revision is reading a good book *raise eyebrow* doesnt make sense to me either! hahahaha!

AND. i cnt decide! who makes a better pair? stefan and elena, or damon and elena? hmm!! i want season threeeee ): well! there's sth to look forward to now ((; sometimes, its like, i want to know, but im afraid to know. sometimes, i want to know, but i dont want to ask. how weird. hahahah and i realise i pay attn to the weirdest things. AND, idk whats up with trains and me. for the past 4 days, the "board" says 6mins every single time i walk down the escalator. seriously? I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY!

sometimes, i tend to second-guess my decisions. my choices. the fear of losing, i guess.

hahahaha i love this particular quote (i think) from Alice In Wonderland!
The Mad Hatter: have i gone mad?

Alice: i'm afraid so. youre entirely bonkers. but i'll tell you a secret. all the best people are.

P/S i really like the fact that she repeated the same thing her father told her (((:

weird = awesomely limited ed' ?{drapetomania.} an overwhelming urge to run away.

do remember to return, okay?

this reminds me so much of you.

everything takes time. everything happens for a reason. maybe you just have to believe.

2011-06-24T10:35:00.011+08:00

dont worry, bcos
hope anchors the soul. i'll be strong. bcos i've You. You've given me so many things. i wont fall (:

i've faith that things will work out. this month just.. flew by! i only rmbed studying, going out, talking, laughing.. and its almost the end of week4 alr! tbh, i've no idea how well prep im! im just going to give it my best, believe it'll work out, and see what happens! just give your best, that way, you know you din let yourself down.

do you live, or do you just go through the motions of life?

do you know that the pool is very pretty in the morning? when sunlight shines into the water? there are many beautiful things in life! do you ever stop and look around? or are you so caught up in what you should be doing or your self-imposed misery to really see?i believe in the {good}.

even tho this is effectively a study break ): i really enjoyed myself! (((: i met up w my friends at least once a week! i make sure there's at least a moment of everyday in which im genuinely happy (: even in the midst of studying. what about you?

does it exist? philophobia? ~~the fear of falling or being in love.~~

to end it off, dont forget to believe. believe in the good, not the bad. why would people want to see the worst in things? to make things so hopeless that they depress themselves? i honestly dont understand, and i hope i wont understand. i'd rather be a irritatingly happy person. (: take care, everyone! be strong and stay well (: life will be good!

2011-06-15T14:54:00.015+08:00

the greatest happiness?
to love and be loved.{trying-- youll nvr know}
warning: lots of images, and ~~hopefully~~ less words! in hopelessly random order!
i love my dad. but i've absolutely no idea how to convey it to him. UH, i bet he'll freak out if i repeat that quote to him! *rolls eyes* i somehow think that eating more will make him realllyyy happy! weird genes! (; ~~its almost 4 and lunch is still on to-do list! damn.~~there are times when i get so annoyed and pissed off. i do not have a perfect life! seriously! but i keep forgetting, people only see what they want to. and im not exactly an entirely open book.

thing is, there are also times i feel like i have everything in the world. everything i need. (yes, even when im supp to be studying for the ugh-disgusting-and-not-anticipated myes. and ghosts from the past come and disrupt the peace.) i've my family, i've my friends! i've love, support and laughters. what else do i need? too good to be true is apt right now!
strengthen, definitely.
i cnt rmb. if i was naturally happy and optimistic. this tendency to see the cup as half-full rather than half-empty. or has life shaped me this way.
it was a temptation to agree. a temptation.. to give it a shot. to be entirely heedless of consequences. apparently, im a dreamer-- with a sensible dose of self-perservation. unfortunately?indulge me?dont forget, youre an amazing person! every single one of you.possibilities. dreams. the big unknown.

she clicked a link from a list, and two is better than one is playing on repeat.;

2011-06-09T20:24:00.010+08:00

you can turn off the sun,
but i'm still gonna shine; i get cheered at the smallest things.
you asked me ytd, "how do you ppl have this optimism? l:" well, i rather be happy than to be sad! above everything else, i believe that everything and anything will work out ((: is that optimism or naviete? who cares? i dont! sadness is a useless emotion that not only doesnt get anything done, but also makes you feel awful about yourself. so, why do you want to feel sad? i, for one, dont understand and refuse to let grief&regret rule my life!

there's a crack in everything. that's how the light gets in.

{hanging out, and simply be alive.}
my favourite hang-out? somewhere with lots of seats. indoor. with aircon. hahahah! so, vivocity is a fab place to go! LOL. walked all over vivo with J! (((: been so long since i last saw her! heh, laughed at the most ridiculous things! like, this random guy who charged his iPhone using the mall's socket on the floor?! and this cute boy running all over the place :D (visiting my uh. shit. nephew [?!] nxt thurs instead! hope he gets cuter over the nxt 7 days!)

to feel alive? just laugh and enjoy yourself (:

HAHAHAA! lesson learnt? having dinner with a friend is really fun! since he can help polish off your food when youre full! and conveniently take straw and knife for you! and be a great help and the plastic utensils proved useless! LOL. okay, now i sound like a bully, but who cares? ((: i've awesome friends!

and not to drink Cupwalker at night! or iced coffee, for that matter! or accidentally watch gory scenes.. but heck, those times bring back lots of memories! so.. i guess, sometimes its really alright to make mistakes (: its gna be worthwhile!

for you, an obstacle. for me, an indication.

O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for You. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

- Isaiah 33:2

sequel to tuesday's;

2011-06-07T16:48:00.010+08:00

if it is, it will be. armed with smiles, what can beat you down?

NE trip ytd! well, it was pretty fun! din regret the time spent there-- tho those hours literally flew by! hahaha my greatest achievement ytd? grabbing H by the shoulders and not having her scream into my ear! :D little things! (: wna see how the photos taken ytd would turn out! but, not uploaded yet! hmm!

{adorable.}
like the little kids at MB ytd! (; oh! my cousin-in-law gave birth few days ago! hahahaha i feel unusually underweight when my parents were discussing how the little boy was heavier than i was at birth ): anw! gna visit him on thurs! excited (:
when things were simpler;

got a little crazy when i saw adorable images of cute children! ((: it is true, tho. there are times, its your own battles to fight. if youre drowning, anyone can throw you a rope. but you have to grab it. otherwise, what is the use of the rope being there?
dont say no one is there for you, when you are too blind and too stubborn to see.
reminds me of the times we cycled at ECP! those laughs. those falls. memories, they wont change. every experience is different. i bet we wont fall the same way even if we cycle down the same path and the same thing happened! still wary of cycling! lol. classic example of once bitten, twice shy?

{just believe.}

"what's life when all you make are safe decisions? when you make choices such that you wont get hurt?" i want to. take risks. but, i've to know if youre ready. there's not enough left in me to jump with my eyes closed, hoping but not knowing if youre there to catch me.jar of hearts.

this song hmm. tugged at some heartstrings. wanted to upload it! but, unfortunately, blogger/Internet isnt cooperating! i like J RICE version more than Glee! Glee gives me the shudders while.. J RICE's brought back memories.
have you felt the difference? bcos it seems like you have. and in your usual, stubborn manner, you just wont ask, will you?

please. dont make a believer, an idealist into a cynic.
when i cant make up my mind, when my emotions are all messed up, all i want is to have someone to talk to, until i can untangle the mess. the mess called my-feelings. add colours into my life;
little things brighten my day like sunshine would to a dark forest! i doubt youll ever knew how happy/touched i was when you replied and told me to enjoy my holiday! your are all busy, but you can still rmb me ((: AWESOME. heh, i sincerely doubt this-good-friend-of-mine will read this, but i hope he'll be damn happy in his life! (:

if you love me, say it. if you trust me, do it. if you want me, show it. if you need me, prove it.

2011-06-01T19:17:00.013+08:00

i dream, therefore i am.
who says i cant? a dreamer at heart.
camera, photos, memories (: some things wont change even if the people in them too!
far east has some really awesome sound tracks! hahahahah! the songs were great! lovestory is kinda stuck in my head! (: oh, romeo. ~~too bad you dont exist.~~

and shopping is some serious (but somewhat fun!) torture! i nvr had the endurance! luckily for me! hahahah! will nvr be addicted to shopping :D

{dont lose out to life.}

youll do better than that! ((((: faith, hope, belief and optimism-- youll be able to smile even if the world falls apart!

P/S crying is theraupetic, you know!
accessories. i just realise, every accessory i wear usually has a story or meaning! (: earrings, one of them will always be a gift from my friend! (H, rmb we rebelled and randomly went to pierce our 3rd earhole?!) my necklace, one pendant will be a cross (to rmb me of His miracles), and sometimes, a heart (from my sis/family) my anklet, a gift from my men! (heh, i hope my dad and bro wont see this!) and these give a purpose (:

and, my anklet has this habit of having the disappearing act (at least once a year!) and giving my heart attack! but i always find it back. God, You will find me back even when i stray from you, wont You (:

been going abit.. crazy with my smses. slightly over 8000 sms in a month? :O i think i just broke my own personal record! hahahaha! i dont even know what i send can!

C says messages are like, my language of love. LOL. but, it is true that i get irritated when i dont receive any replies! and usually smses can cheer me up (((:

{lovely.}

i wish one day, i'll get to see such scenery (:

2011-05-29T20:23:00.012+08:00

dont be afraid of change;
what are you afraid of?
meeting my friends tml! :D super euphoric, elated, overjoyed and excited! hahahah! been quite some time since we met up! :D
absence makes the heart fonder?
hmmm, exactly. (:
and so, i think tml's photos will be pretty awesome ((:

{live life.}

is that why we are meeting up to study (an excuse?) as well as to have fun?! :D

dont say life is sad. dont say things nvr end up well. dont say it's useless. hey, you've life. thats hope! open your heart and let others help you (:

i think i posted this picture during valentines! how sweet.

"my neighbour's little girl is almost 2 and doesnt talk very much. i was playing with her and told her i loved her, and she smiled a really huge smile. her 3-year-old half-brother turned around and said, 'sometimes a smile is i love you back.' his understanding of his sister GMH."
-GivesMeHope

i do keep mine, what about you?

sometimes words are not enough to make someone feel that you care for them. sometimes it needs a little effort.

saw afew quotes tdy-- really awesome! hahahah! some are really.. ohmy-why-din-i-think-of-that?!! ladies, how true is this? guys are like subway trains; dont run after them, another one is on its way. hmm? (:

moving on ((:

the world revolves, regardless of what youre feeling. might as well be happy (:

~~you arent the only one who feels as if your world has fallen apart. never will you be the only one.~~
words without meaning are just sounds. now, why do we still feel touched (or oddly uncertain) when..

~~you should have known better.~~

P/S see any difference with my blogskin (: its actually pretty fun playing with the codes and searching for the right picture! hahahaha might consider making more changes along the way and make this truly mine!

2011-05-28T21:53:00.013+08:00

我們都曾經失去愛情
從你的身上我認識刻骨銘心

{FREE.}
june hol is here! ((: the air seems fresher, the wind feels cooler and everything seems happier! (: hahaha! i wish i could do everything i want to during this hol! ohwell. i can always still dream!

im a dreamer. i like dreaming.

dreaming, believing, magic, miracles, faith, hope. they are one and the same to me (: just different names to that 1 thing everyone should have!

i like looking at the sky, the clouds. feeling the wind and the rain. do you realise how fast the clouds can shift and change? just like how our lives can change and we are only left with adapting to it. but we can still choose to feel, instead of mindlessly chasing after our goals/past. ohnoo will i get alot more white hair if i keep thinking about things even while staring at the sky?! ): white hair does not equate to wisdom okay?! (btw, is santa claus wise then??)
there are still times i feel like running away. hiding, from troubles and wishing they will just disappear! just a short respite.
free as the balloons soaring to the sky.

{a leap of faith.}

if i do take it, i wonder where it will take me. how far i will go.

~~you crept in, like a thief in the night.~~

he lied; she believed.

she believed he lied.

what do you see?

(seriously! if you know me, do not comment on my size! just a coincidence!)

i like her quotes. (: they always make alot of sense! to me, at least. and the world is just so big. there are so many things to see, to do, to feel, to experience. can we ever finish everything? there's sth encouraging abt that. life will always bring you sth new (:

i think im really alil too efficient. LOL. i just bought my d&d dress and shoes tdy! (d&d is at the end of the year, fyi!) but.. i think im (colour)blind or sth, cos the dress is black, and this image is not only not-white, it is also not that design! hahahah! why in the world did i put this image, ive no idea! random impulse! im actually looking forward to d&d when A's is officially over and we can all take a real break!! :D

and to you people out there, who think that all girls love shopping and can never get tired of shopping, youre wrong!! shopping is such a tough chore! yes, it may be fun, but its exhausting! my back hurts. my leg hurts! how does anyone actually enjoy it D:

"a dreamer is one who can only find her way by moonlight, and her punishment is that she sees the dawn before the rest of the world."

i like stories. i like songs, images and ideas which have stories behind them (: i guess, their stories are what make them meaningful and different! i read this somewhere, about thin gold rings. her mother gave one to her years ago. the first ring her father gave to her mother. it was simple, dainty and has a small diamond. really simple, yet it'll attract you to get a closer look. perfect and sweet. now, i wont look at rings the same way agn! (:

2011-05-20T20:29:00.012+08:00

written at the back of my hand;

if life is a box of chocolates,
give me Ferrero Rocher.
~~(if you cared enough, youll know. if you know, you cared enough. the reverse is true.)~~

putting the extra "band" at my braces! dentist says i can change to retainers soon (; *happy ttm!* whenever i remove the "band" to eat, i'll open my mouth damn wide. LOL. if you dont have the "band" and braces, youll nvr understand the feeling of opening your mouth wide! that sense of freedom! :D

we always take things for granted. isit really just human nature?

the wind is really strong this afternoon! hahahah! i cn feel as if the wind can carry me away! :D what a fantastic feeling! hahahaha! how i hope the wind can just take me away! what about you?
impulsive behaviour.
it appears that im very prone to that! one day, i'll try photography! i want to snap brilliant pictures and share the joy of it! :D

heh. awesome! if everyone has a label, I WANT THIS! lol. especially, erhem. some idiotic classmate who nearly whacked my head with a bottle D: hahahaha!

and here i thought im antisocial, unfriendly and fierce T.T why do people tell me otherwise? i know we are the worst critics when it comes to us, but.. i cnt be that wrong, cn i?!

there's sth very fulfilling and fun when it comes to seeing a very nicely-decorated book/ diary! i guess, its like seeing someone leading a fairytale life (:

sometimes, i dont understand why we take life so damn seriously! everyday is a new day! many things start agn when the sun rises! so.. why dont we take risks? why dont we do what we truly want to do? why are we still afraid? why dont we dare to dream?

you didnt, you dont, and you wont. i guess i finally see it now.

foolishness, stubborness and persistence. i cant see the difference now.

life. unfair and painful at times. but always moving forward, always shifting, changing, with time's relentless passages smoothing down the jagged parts until it no longer hurts quite so much just to breathe.

hmmm, exactly. (:youll be strong enough. i'll be strong enough too.

if only doesnt exists. wake up, and start creating your own "fairytale" (: make it your reality!

"maybe its about time you break down, and stop pretending you are made of stone."

if i really stop and think. if i'd be absolutely honest with myself, what would i find?

ask me the right questions. please. help me understand. help me help you understand. why dont you dare to?

2011-04-30T19:56:00.027+08:00

Hey 我真的好想你 ;
不知道你现在到底在哪里你是否也像我一样在想你

sometimes you feel like youre alone in the world. sometimes you feel like the entire world has let you down. sometimes you feel like no one understands you at all. sometimes you dont feel anything. but, i tell you this: you arent alone in this. trust me, this will pass (: bcos, this is part of life. (a journey that makes you grow and stronger to face even greater challenges ahead!) and believing in that will make your life btr! (: trust and faith are amazing things that change everything.

the Master Plan He has for each one of us (:
human nature scares me. i want to believe in the good in people; but i know there's sth inherently bad in everyone. and i think, i do believe. optimism speaking? (: it doesnt kill to be optimistic, why choose to be depressed? (;

is my life perfect? as someone who knows me, do you think my life is perfect?

lol. i think youll say yes. or at least, near perfect. ohmy ohmy, there are things i want to change abt my life! abt myself. i want some people to remain in my life. but would tht change what i've currently? (probability is too simple and useless to be applied in real life!) im greedy. i want all of you in my life. i want to grab your like my lifelines. if only thats possible. youll be my regrets. sth i cnt ever change. bcos it just isnt possible. who cn erase the line drawn btwn life&death?

so, im going to live my life. i'll make sure everyday counts. i'll be happy. i'll be optimistic and happy. i'll be strong. i'll be everything i need to be (: i'll be myself. life, you cnt beat me! im still standing! (:

am i optimistic? am i cheerful? lol. i find myself pretty alright! but, im definitely less pessimistic than i was several yrs back! "irritatingly happy" is a phrase i like very much! :D

& i've the weirdest sense of humour! i found the idea of my entire block having no electricity damn funny!! hahahahah! im not as sadistic (as someone has claimed!) okay! perhaps, just a touch of dark humour! (;

a wacky sense of humour! maybe, being too serious makes one crazy. or two! during chem prac, when everyone was busy jotting notes.. i asked, "what comes after d?" my friend, "e?" then she nearly slapped my arm for asking sth stupid! LOL. and the two of us started laughing over nth! and i forgot&left my handbook in the lab (for 2days!) T.T and, there must be sth equally crazy in us (: that we found it ridiculously amusing when i said i found it fun to stare at irritating ppl (who laugh at nth!) and discover that staring at them keeps them quiet! who says looks cnt kill? (;

{EMBRACE LIFE.}

life is, aft all, sth that's yours. (: there's only so much pain i can take for you; the rest is up to you (: look forward to life; everyday is ful of surprises, possibilities and miracles! open your eyes; youll see it (:

i miss the feeling of the wind blowing at my hair. i miss the feeling of the rain touching my skin. one day, i want to dance in the rain! (: (: while blasting "may i have this dance"

i believe that there's a lil part in all of us that yearns for romance and fairytales! (how many of you are interested or have watched the wedding of prince william and kate? or gone crazy over Twilight saga/ Vampire Diaires?) its nice to dream (: but do wake up and create your own fairytale (:

{RANDOM- take with a pinch/bucketful of salt!}

FoodForThought: if you have found someone who makes you grin like an idiot (cretin) and forget your troubles, grab that person&dont let go (:

and, i "planned" this blog post last night when i couldnt sleep at all (:

am i an idealist? a dreamer? or someone who really just prefer to see the good in things? (:

whenever i have time alone, i like to think about things (: excuse me, its not called being philosophical! maybe, just, reflective (:

i'd like to feel it.

there are times i think, it'll be very helpful to be able to read minds. yet, im not sure if i want to know everything that everyone is thinking! i rather know what i ought to and what youre willing to share.

isnt it ironic that when youre one whom i trust, and yet, now..? and there's sth odd abt you tdy. but who am i to comment on it? what happened to the idea of "friends"?

2011-04-17T17:40:00.011+08:00

to be, or not to be; its all your choice. when i hear someone sigh, "life is hard", im always tempted to ask, "compared to what?" what is life? well, i've no idea! im living this thing called life. idk why and idk how. all i know is, if i dont live it happily, i'll only regret it! life.. is unpredictable i guess. who knows what will happen next? hahaha! maybe my house will have a short circuit and this post will never make it onto my blog! or my house will explode OR STH. thing is, everything (human) is transient. nature, for one, is transient. just look at snow! they dont last. in the same way, our happy moments wont last ): sound depressing? but hey! doesnt that mean our troubles wont last too? (; nth is ever white or black, i guess. sth i learn in GP *sighs* hahaha! philosophical much?

so, doesnt it make sense to make our own path? to make our own happiness? (:

only you can make the most impact on your own life (excluding Him, only if you let Him!) ! take for eg, if youre starving. but youre just too depressed to eat (for some strange reason i cnt fathom!), its quite pointless if i display all the delicious food in front of you right? oh, unless, force feeding is counted! only YOU can change your own fate.

see? lol. idk why, i always feel like motivating people. i wonder what happens when im depressed! will anyone be there? its quite scary to think abt it this way! lolll.

and, just a reminder, youre your master of your life. live it the way you want to! (without crossing moral and legal boundaries, obviously!) see, its pretty simple :D im sure you have a heart..? its the best compass! (:

will you let me? will you believe?

{an essential to life.}

some say confidence is key. i say otherwise! hahah! where do you get confidence when you dont have hope and faith?

hectic. im always exhuasted before the day ends! Good Friday is coming! i do hope i can get to go! been ages since i say.. anyone!! maybe a get-together lunch too? hmm *cheered!* that would also mean i've to clear alot of stuff! tests aft GF and.. who cares! time for a break nxt wk! *looking forward*

{FUN.}

it really does make life alot more bearable and enjoyable! hahahaha! i get happy and cheered over the weirdest things! like, passing PFT! hahahah! a major cause for celebration! tho its not like i got Gold or sth :D

i wonder what it says abt jc life, but my classmates and i were laughing like mad while playing Netball! ahahaha! and we were just shooting! LOL. (apparently, some other classmates tot we were playing instead of practicing for our drills D: lol!)

nothing like a good laugh to start your day. (;

when was the last time you laugh so crazily and had so much fun?

being alone doesnt scare me as much as feeling lonely does.

and feeling so much for you scares me even more.

2011-03-29T16:34:00.018+08:00

YOU've have got every right to {a beautiful life.}

totally.

life is no smooth ride. oh, that would be so boring! right? ((: there will forever be problems we have to face! you cnt run away from them all the time (: so? you either feel let down by life and let it beat you, or face it! make them seem insignificant, or wtv! so long as it helps you to cope (;

is this optimism? hahaha idk. thats like, my coping mechanism.

everyone has masks, i guess. everyone acts differently with different people! hahah so do i! (; im not ashamed to admit it. its as natural as life to me. hahah! and i think a part of me likes surprising others? (;

{what kindof person do you think im?} i love reading.

hahah its like, being transported to another world. fairytale? make-believe world? fantasy world? dream? idk. i just like it. hahah! seeing people's horrified and mixed reactions/looks when i say "reading is my leisure" is really entertaining. LOL. reading is like, a gift to me. i simply love it. (: it means more than that to me. i think there's a part of me thats {a dreamer.} ((:

#7. {Do not lose to life.}

thats one of my belief in life. i've no idea why this belief is so impt to me. i guess, life has taught me much. i think one of life greatest pleasure is to break people. LOL. ~~what a sadist!~~ so? i swear i'll not be broken. never agn.

Who Says lyrics

{you are who you are.}

no one is more you than you alone! (: there are times, i wonder who exactly am i. i look at the mirror, who is that person? i guess, youre really the only one who can define yourself. no one can lead your life. its really you. if you believe in God, you live your life in His image. others? its really your life. (: how do you intend to lead it? how do you intend to be yourself? youre born an original; dont die a copy!

{random thoughts.}

2011-03-26T07:49:00.014+08:00

Now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is {love.}

1 Corinthians 13:13

a happy start. a happy beginning. {(:}

Block Tests is over! :D prayers help me through. your support help me through. im really just glad its over! and i realise, i've really good friends. i nvr had confidence in GP and econs! and sometimes physics! while some retarded classmates made me feel i've chosen the wrong essay question (as usual!), J gave me hope that it probably wont be that bad. LOL. hah, he's always right! randomness. for econs, S gave me hope! i probably wont do THAT badly! and the next three days? i convince myself with my new-found faith and optimism (:

and ytd, was just awesome. i got cheered at 7 am (do you see this?)! and everything just sort of got off rather well! crazy physics is over! everything abt block test is over! laughed at/with my classmates& CT! met w WM and literally laugh at nothing&everything! lol. i'll still laugh when i think back! we laugh when we walk past shops. we laugh when we're in shops! at ridiculous prices. at ridiculous-looking elephant toys. at luggages. at babies. at stupid chairs. at vibrations at the chair when someone else talk! at "models" in shops. SERIOUSLY (: much-needed and well-deserved laughs? (:

i realise, there are really just 6 ppl (outside my family) who really matter. do you know who you are?

sometimes, when i hear compliments, i literally stop wtv im doing. not bcos im flattered, but rather, HUH, YOU SEE THIS IN ME?? well, i really dont see wtv you say you see! we're our own worst critics. and i guess, im one harsh critic.

i kindof feel infallible somedays. LOL. like, with God, whats impossible? i've nvr been completely broken by life. some parts shatter. but im still standing. i can totally do it. He created heaven, earth and everything that we see. why cnt He protect me? He cares for the small sparrows; why not me? rationalisation. i realise i do that pretty often.

{live for the here and now.}

i believe, that everyone's life has reached a breaking point before. sometimes, its really easy to think of the hundred ways your life could have been better! but, i know there are a million ways for my life could have gone worse. i dont deserve the good things in my life. but they are there. the first of all, is life. and the next? that im loved. people simply tend to look at the bad side of the coin called life. i wish someone would teach them to look at the good side. ~~instead of being taught by life.~~

YOU ARE YOU.

I AM ME.

WE ARE SIMPLY WHO WE ARE.

DONT CHANGE IT.

{pretty scenes in life.}

2011-03-08T16:34:00.012+08:00

dont count the times you have fallen apart,
count the times you have picked yourself up. those secret victories.
{i'll do that.}

i hate giving up. i dont believe in giving up. its not just simply an act of weakness and vulnerability (which we all have!) but it means i let life beat me.

one series of tests has ended! wooh! hahahah! there's this sense of accomplishment and relief. (: doesnt happen all the time, so i shall savour the moment! i love this phrase. idk why(:

it humbles me. when i realise how much He did for us. how much He has given me. its so easy to give up; its so easy to dwell in the past; its so easy to forget to move on. dont you agree?

little things really count. (: seeing someone else wearing a cross, makes me smile. reminds me of His grace. reading smses. makes me grin. reminds me that im on your thoughts, even for a moment. (;

even feeling the wind on my face. the sunshine. seeing life around me. i love the feeling of being alive!

thats my promise (: thats my goal.

to take on {life}
to take on {love}
to take on {possibility}

for Him. for my family. for people i care for. for them. (:

hahhahah! Google is really weird! i searched"dont give up tumblr", and some hits included taylor swift! eh?! LOL. i dont see the link! ~~as usual!~~

p.s. do you see miracles in children? (:

i hope

everyone would allow love into their lives (:

where there's hope and faith,

and "giving up" isnt an option.

where dreams can be possible,

and fears can be extinguished.

////

i suddenly realise my blog doesnt really show you how my life is. LOL. it basically tells you my beliefs (: and ~~random!~~thoughts!

even petals of dried roses can fall off.

2011-02-22T19:50:00.009+08:00

open my eyes to the things unseen;
show me how to love like You've loved me
{hosanna}

ask yourself this question-- are you happy?

i think, we often take happiness for granted. oh, face it. we do. we take many things for granted. even the peace at home, in school or in our country. how often have we taken our friends for granted? or our family? even the air we breathe in!

to live, is a gift. never forget that. youll never know which day will be your last. or which moment. treasure it, even if reality is suffocating.

i came across this video. which is one of the few reasons which prompted me to blog today, honestly. i realised ytd that blogging makes me feel refreshed. (somehow or another!) and, i really need to do this.

this video is inspiring. im sure some of you have seen this before! whether you can rmb it ornt-- thats another thing luh! (PST. internet explorer has an axe to grind w me or sth! i cnt upload the video D:)

the idea of "upside down". the idea of God being able to reverse our lives. the idea of us having the ability to change our own mindsets.

we are a bunch of weird people. why do we tend to look at the ugly side of things? why do we tend to jump into conclusions? why do we expect others to give way to us, when we dont give them another chance? why do we expect others to understand us without showing them a part of us? so many whys- so little answers. that sets me thinking agn (:

many times, we wonder- why arent i happy? (back to my question at the start!) why do we choose to dwell in the past? i dont have the answer to that. unfortunately. (:

sharing two things i do have an answer to & believe in (:

and,

believe in them too?

truthfully, there are so many many times i really want to run away. to escape from reality. when things come crushing down, who do you run to, ultimately? you probably hope for understanding. and maybe more than that. im a disappointment. i know.

there's a story behind every person. something in the past created them.

2011-02-21T19:08:00.008+08:00

a leap of faith;
can be just what you need.

we have a good God.

who shows us the beauty of life.

He gives us one life

which leads to a path of possibilites (:

why dont we choose to see the joy of life?

Religion, theology, philosophy confuses me. All I know is - When I have faith, I am happy. When I don’t have faith, I am unhappy.

2011-02-21T17:06:00.015+08:00

until the magic fades;
give me a break, let me make my own pattern.

~~i really should stop googling images like some starved person!~~

anw! updates (: (im so so sorry la! okay? lol)

i hope you do rmb its valentines day, one wk ago! on the dot!

this picture so sweet right?! LOL. can i still wish, happy valentines? (: it should an everyday-thing right?

updates with life.. okay! i just ended my physics lect test :D *HAPPY TTM* this sense of freedom is.. refreshing (;

and now, im going to spam a thousand and one "sometimes" (:

{in no particular order}

sometimes, i wonder if my brother and i sa jiao at the same time for different things, who will win?

sometimes, i wonder what you see when you look in the mirror. do you see yourself?

sometimes, i wonder if i'll make friends who are as good as those in secondary school! i cnt help but compare the differences in jc ):

sometimes, i wonder if tall people feel as isolated as short people. like, they dont belong.

sometimes, i feel very very mean. i feel like saying "its okay. really. its okay! bcos it obviously doesnt make a difference."

sometimes, i wonder why do we feel disappointment. and let down. i mean, i can and i will always invent some excuse for you. how weird.

sometimes, i wonder why the cleaner cn push a truck FUL of rubbish!! a SCHOOL has that much rubbish?! *amazed*

sometimes, i wonder if you cnt even see yourself, would others see you?

sometimes, i wonder why cnt we read one another's mind? but, it might be abit scary!

sometimes, i wonder why isit easier to hang on than to let go.

sometimes, i wonder why cultures differ all around the world! im really happy im in singapore! other cultures.. *shudders* i know im bias. i know.

sometimes, i wonder what happens if people in the Victorian era suddenly get teleported to the 21st century! they think ankles are sexy :O lolol!

sometimes, i wonder why people bother to blog? LOL. i dont see much appeal in it now.

sometimes, i wonder if anyone can see beyond what is shown.

sometimes, i wonder why i bother.

sometimes, i wonder whats your limit. and whats mine?

sometimes, i wonder why i hit things so much easily than anyone in my family :O

sometimes, i wonder why people are always dissatisfied?

sometimes, i wonder if there's a place in the world for me.

sometimes, i wonder why just cnt i say it.

sometimes, i wonder why you cnt see how amazing you are.

sometimes, i wonder why i really like emo songs more than happy ones!

sometimes, i wonder why cnt happiness be sold in a bottle? :D

sometimes, i wonder why nyjc cnt have chapel ):

sometimes, i wonder if you ever think of me.

sometimes, i wonder why isit always easier to hide pain.

sometimes, i wonder why little things bring smiles so much easily!! :D

sometimes, i wonder why we learn GP. its so GENERAL that ive no idea why i must learn abt gender. and how "sex" and "gender" actually have different meanings. and how.. !!

sometimes, i wonder how we can possibly take so many things for granted!

sometimes, i wonder whats so special isit abt you. everything.

sometimes, i wonder what keep me going. (:

sometimes, i wonder if i cn do anything i like, what would i do?

sometimes, i wonder why im so weird! but i love it (:

sometimes, i wonder why crying makes everything seems btr! half the time luh (:

sometimes, i wonder why crying cn moisturize your eyes (i read this in a mag during dental!) and is good for you!

sometimes, i wonder if you ever see it. or am i just really good.

sometimes, i wonder if life can be as good as dreams and make-believe.

sometimes, i wonder why chocolates make ppl happy :D

sometimes, i wonder WHY IM DOING THIS RIGHT NOW!!

///

hahhah random much? (;

it is actually there to remind you, this is life. (: yes, life has expectations. along with it comes stress! and many many conflicting unwanted emotions. like fear, anger, disappointment, hatred, jealousy, guilt etc! but!!! there's also always hope, faith, love, joy, happiness, peace! (:

and, why cnt we be random in life?! you know, i actually studied Universal Declaration of Human Rights for GP (for goodness' know why!!) anw. we actually do have the right to live (but no right to die. idk why?! weird much!) and the freedom of opinion. why cnt we choose to be random? :D thats my point! :D be random! if that means youll be happy (:

heh! who loves fb? btw, i learn during (UGH!) GP, that fb are more appealing to ego-maniacs! :O isit true?? hahha i dont love fb-- does that mean im humble? :D

and here's sth even more random! have you ever thought of this? *scrolls down*

ive nvr realised this!!! hahaha! it makes me absurdly happy to read this. lols. the cup is full! :D does it make you happy? lol. it makes me happy :D its nt like im thirsty hor!

lol. okay! i shall happily end this blog entry on a happy note (; hopefully, it managed to make you smile abit here and there! (: God bless (: youre here on earth for a reason. you may not know the reason, but He does (: you may be in pain, but He can give you comfort, solace and peace (: youre safe in His hands ((((:

2011-01-31T18:02:00.010+08:00

沒人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填滿
沒人知道我多孤單

in my previous entry (from looong ago!), i mentioned what i dont believe in. anw, i found this image that basically summarises what i believe in (;

are you busy? stressed? unable to meet all your many deadlines? had this stress-busters talk last wk. not that i really listened to it alot! oops. hahaha but. i rmb some things from it (surprisingly) do you know that eating and having fun reduce stress levels?! :D

i wna try! dancing in the rain! hahhaha! did you experience the rain that lasted almost three days straight? mygosh. idk if i love it, or feel somewhat afraid. wth is wrong w the weather? ): anw, i missed dancing in the rain! hahahah! and i hope i dont get drenched! am sick now ): my brother la! LOL. seriously, this is his fault! not my immune system!

i love rain when im at home. i love reading while on my cozy bed. i love smsing instead of going on msn. i love seeing you face to face. i love it when i know everyone is safe. i love songs that have a story behind it. i love seeing you happy. and i love many many more (:

life was hectic last wk. its btr this wk, i guess, since i completed the bulk of it over the wkends. and.. i think it could be that i was feeling contented and thankful. i've alot. alot more than others. minus expectations. minus fears. minus past burdens. minus insecurity. well, i dont have much troubles alr. i think. hahahah! thinking abt it this way, made me feel alot btr. :D

tutorials, assignments, and tests. hahahaha! i think i may not have time to update soon ): and abit lazy luh. hahaha! oops. (;

to be honest, the songs i love recently are all. um, sad songs. hahahaha! but im addicted to them (:

some lyrics. (;
我翻了又翻你給的地圖
卻一直找不到我的歸宿
也許開始太倉促才迷了路
為沒有結果的結果盲目

hahahaha della ding's recent songs are damn good. lol. love them much. albeit abit more um, emo. anw, why is her english name so.. unique? :O

some songs. this song. other songs. all songs. you.

2011-01-14T19:58:00.006+08:00

open my heart to see;
猜不透
perfect love;
went to HeartOfGod church tdy! (: hahaha i love it. omg, i hope i wasnt this tired ): or else i would have enjoyed myself more! ~~stupid pe!!~~ hahah! anw, this song was played continuously! i got addicted to it! :D :D makes me feel like jumping up and down! LOL.

i believe in things. and of cos, there are many things that i dont believe in. i dont believe that people deserve to be sad all the time. i dont believe that failing once, means youll fail forever. i dont believe that second chances arent worth giving.

i love this alot. lol. there are two 11:11 everyday! it means that everyone deserves a second chance (:

and i realise this-- have you? that we only have one life. just this one life. its like, having an air ticket, that enables you to fly to anywhere. do you cherish it? or do you stupidly dump it away? life is full of possibilities. you can be at the peak one moment, and crash to the bottom in another. or you can be at the bottom one moment, and soar the other! no one knows what tml brings. there's many "maybe"s in life! (:

~~i still feel sth whenever i see old couples.~~

i love songs that mean sth. that say a story. (: hahah meaning, i do like certain Taylor Swift songs! and BoysLikeGirls! hahahah! two is better than one! wooh! love it X14823!

and im starting to like Thunder! sihui la?!!!

today is a winding road, thats taking me to places that i din want to go. wooh. today in a blink of an eye, im holding on to sth and i dont know why i tried, i tried to read btwn the lines, i tried to look you in the eyes, i want a simple explanation; what im feeling inside, i gotta find a way out. maybe there's a way out.

true much?

it doesnt hurt. it wont hurt. i wont let it. i wont let life to break me.

2011-01-09T09:41:00.012+08:00

just let the pictures say the words.

what is left of me?

i just want to be a happy me. maybe its just round the corner. hidden. maybe all it takes, is for me to cont moving on, holding the pieces of my life, praying and hoping with all i have that things will get alright.

maybe. and i think that basically says everything.

im really tired. but, will you be there this time?

~~p.s. how long do you think it'll take for me to delete this post?~~

2011-01-02T18:36:00.016+08:00

its a new start.

a brand new page (:

hahaah! happy new year! im like. 24+8= 32 (i started blogging at 8pm!!!) hours late! oops! heh! i honestly still cant believe 2010 ended alr! l: i think ~~this~~ last year really zoooomed past! like that retarded motocycle just sped across the expressway near my house -.-

rmb, every end is a new beginning.

when you eat an apple, you cut away the rotten parts first right? in this new year, burn all the "rotten" parts off! dont hang on to them. let them go. and start afresh (: let that be your new year resolution (:

let me show you mine! :D

# follow my heart more (better than practical decisions-evolved-mistakes!)

# be a better, more sensitive, helpful, kind and RANDOM person! :D

# learn the secret to how-to-help-him/her-in-any-situation!

# study really hard for the coming "A"s (UGH)

# find myself in helpless situations, instead of losing myself (:

p.s. the top and bottom are of higher priority!

whats yours? (; made a resolution list alr?

trouble trouble trouble. omg. remind me of some SNSD song (btw, im not into KPop!) hahahah! you know, at Thailand? there's this amazing piece of beach (in the middle of ocean) that can only be seen once a month when there's low tide?!! in life, sometimes things just look so damn hopeless and bleak. it seems as if there's no where to go, no more options to make. but if you dont give up, the solution will come! it will appear in front of you (: so give up or dont give up? whats YOUR choice?

i just realise.. whats the point in crying yourself into depression? i mean, yea, sometimes reality and problems hit you so hard that you trip, fall, stumble and break a bone or two. after crying for days, shouldnt you stand up already? i think i rather smile and make everyone feel btr (;

does that mean im not sad? or im not sad enugh? or that im strong enough?

just realise this too! if its a new year now.. omg, i've lots of chocolates in my fridge from last year! LOL. mygoodness. only strangers and not-so-close friends should give me chocolates and edible stuff. OMG, i dont like to eat stuff ppl give me la! i bu she de leh!!! ))): *heartache!*

i think december of 2010 is one of the best months! :D despite the hectic school life which practically mess up everyone's "leisure time", family time, friends time, and even alone time! this really special group of ppl-- the npgg gang still had time to meet up three times in a month?!!

17th dec! our annual brought-forward-by-a-day! :D

27th dec! first time asking so many ppl to my house! :D POTATO SALAD, FRUIT SALAD AND THE BROCOLLISALAD-TURNED-CURRYPUFFS! (poor jigme's head!)

31stdec&1st jan! :D first sleepover at my house with so many ppl! :D me and hsiyuan most pro! din sleep at all! :D

my dear clique, when are we mtg up tgt as one whole group? (:

be daring in life; live life!

凡事無絕對就是唯一的絕對
所有的聽說或傳說親身實驗過才知真偽

人生實驗課開啓理智休息打開抽屜呼喚勇氣
微笑或哭泣都是寶貴的數據

a new year. it hasnt fade yet. new memories, more memories. what does it say, when i think of you all day, and wearing this stupid smile? joy, excitement, uncertainty, confusion, hesitation, hope, anticipation, disappointment and many many more. youre just this one guy who evokes so much in me. idk. we got through one year still in contact. its really a big miracle alr. will we make another one by still staying in contact? you dont have to be my happy ending. just a happy memory is more than enough. do you understand?

2010-12-29T13:50:00.009+08:00

一杯开水的爱，简单却很实在。

feelings are simple. why do we feel the way we do? there is no reason for it. i suddenly feel bombarded with emotions. well, at least i think im controlling them! not the other way round! :D isit even a good thing?? if only google can show us the reasons why we feel some things! (: why i can feel happy with a tinge of sadness.

i still think feelings are simple. we are the ones who make them complicated (;

///

photos of 27th dec! not sure if i was a good host, but i know i really did enjoy myself! :D

the majority of us! OOPS. jigme got covered by suhui! i din even notice until junjie mentioned it!
think im abit blind ar!

you cant really see, but we are sitting on top of each other! :D heh! fun! i think cos im the one sitting on ppl. LOOOLL

can you see what heather said? sihui and i are filtering coloured light! :D so cool! :D

its all about perception, and if we pay attention to our surroundings. let me ask you, when is the last time, you put aside everything that youre doing, and actually look at the sky? or wtv thats near you? we are always and forever busy! sometimes, we should slow down our steps and take a breathe. if youre going at bullettrain-speed, youll only end up killing yourself and missing out all the good things in life.

whats the point?

life. its not just about having achievements, doing the right and perfect thing every second of your life, being the flawless friend or child or sibling or person, going through the motions, or wasting your life away! its more about living life. doing things you truly enjoy.

to me? life, is doing what is expected of you for 3/4 of your "awake hours". the other 1/4? its for you! its alone-time, crazy-time, daydreaming-time etc. we-- are humans. we were sinners. we arent perfect. and we most definitely arent robots.

too much expectations will only destroy the person you are born to be. you are you. dont change it.

////

i wonder if anyone actually reads my blog! anw, my point is. motivation and encouragement are essentials. a little faith goes a long way (: my favourite quote. i dont even know where i got it from :O

there's sth abt this song;
i wanted to post another song by them! but.. i heard this song, and i dont want to be overly irritatingly happy (&post a happy cheerful song.) LOL. does it explain why i post this song?

everyone has pain. everyone has scars. maybe some have more than others. life doesnt give everyone the exact same amt of everything!

i've pain. pain, that i cant and dk how to say it. sometimes it feels like the whole place is closing in on me. like everything is falling apart. i dont believe that im the only one who feels this way. and i believe the pain will pass. everything will be alright. its like getting a huge cut. it bleeds, it hurts like mad. give it time, it'll heal. it may leave a scar, but it'll heal. and youll be better than before. (: i believe.

///

thats about how my diary is like. hmm more reflective than merely jotting down what happen that day. i try to write down my feelings and everything.

i'll post happier stuff the nxt time (; promise!

2010-12-27T09:25:00.006+08:00

healing is a process where you must first
take the first step.

hahahah isnt this potatoes image adorable? HAHAHAH! ltr your see this image, dont dare eat my potato salad liao! LOL.

ohmy. im so nervous and excited for ltr! woooh! things will be great! :D

nvr had much of an experience with being a host! so instead of asking around for tips, i feel that its btr to just be me and see how things go :D

in life, too, you dont always have to know where youre going! sometimes its really enough to know what you want or what makes you happy.

YOU are wonderful. dont let anyone else tell you otherwise (: each and every one of us is perfect in our own unique way (:

lets talk about natural phenomenon, okay! :D first, after a rain or storm (meaning, small or big), the sky will definitely clear (:

and there'll be rainbows. thats the promise by God that he'll not flood the earth again.

and you can also be reassured that things will get better.

and never be an idiot who gives in to hopelessness. do you know what it seems like to me? its like telling life/ obstacles "youre too much for me. its so hopeless. its futile. so, im not going to fight back. im just going to stand here and let you hit me-- i wont retaliate bcos its useless. so yea, come and get me and may my depression not spread to you."

sounds stupid? it better be.

i wish i can take away all your heartaches, pain, hurt, hopeless and woes away. and give you peace and comfort. i wish, i hope and i pray. i really just want to make things right for all of you.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
-- John 14:1-3

2010-12-24T12:07:00.008+08:00

come feel the magic!
it's xmas eve!

its xmas eve! this weekend is the time for YOU to be happy and jolly (: find peace this xmas (: im hoping i'll find mine, and you find yours too!

there's nothing perfect that we can do. unless there's such a thing as perfect mistake! dont be so harsh on yourself-- its not worth it.

there's a crack in everything. thats how the light gets in.
i love this.

my motto for this xmas. LOL. you know the quotes, "love is in the air" etc. but love is really powerful (: may your love and passion for someone/something spur you on in life and get you through any difficulties :D

some really cute xmas-ish images! hahaaha! i want to eat some very-high-in-sugar-content chocolate gingerbreadman-shaped cookies!! :D just finished my sis' stash of chocolate cookies! MUAHAHAHA! (actually, my brother ate the bulk of it! D: )

vivian told me this hmm inspiring (i guess!) story her uh, lecturer or sth shared!

he brought a box into class. first, he added large rocks into the container and ask: isit filled?

(yes)

then he added small stones! and ask: isit filled?

(yes)

afterwards he added sand. and now he ask: isit filled?

(yes)

finally he added water and said: now, the container is really filled.

moralofthestory (i think!) is that we always think that our lives are full, we cnt fit anything else in! and, we are wrong! if we can handle it, we can definitely make the fullest out of our lives (:

heh! this was the story that (in a way!) brought someone and her bf tgt! :D hahahahhaah!

and this story tells me i should spend more family time, alone time aka daydreaming time and friend time (: (:

what did it tell you?

are you my brand of heroin?

i sound like some drug addict! HAHAHAHAHAHHA! this is (part of!) one of the few twilight quotes that are imprinted in my head!

someone special;
last christmas, i gave you my heart
but the very next day, you gave it away
this year, to save me tears
i'll give it to someone special
//
i guess im a fool, bcos youre still special. but i dont care.
you make me really really happy. youre worth it-- cn you see that?
even if i've to worry and fear over what might happen tml, its today that matters.
am i being selfish?

last christmas is my favourite xmas non-carol song! :D i love ashley tisdale version the most! im sorry taylor swift ):

2010-12-20T11:44:00.008+08:00

light up your life
(:

the npgg annual! :D hahahahh! lots of fun! hope nxt year will be just as fun too! :D :D :D really enjoyed myself (: hope its a great day for the others too! (:
p.s. guys? you got to stop getting stuck in the toilet! in turns! LOL.

there's a post xmas party over at my hse on the 27th!
hahahahahahahaha i kinda got alil crazy while inviting ppl, so there is like, at least 23 ppl coming?? if no one else cancels, of cos. wow, will my house explode? :D
heh. these few days, i was toying with the idea of letting my blog rot and die. or sth. lol. bcos i've a diary now and im getting the hang of a diary! so the idea of writing everything down into it is way moreeee appealing. LOL. for one, i've no need to censor my thoughts! lol. is there actually someone who really blogs entirely truthfully? l:

hahhah! sugar rush ytd! but i slept pretty well, surprisingly. LOL. i still cnt believe fx bought cotton candy for me in jb! :D :D :D lol

went for the candle light service ytd. i was really glad i went (: tho, i only like the second hour of it. LOL. i like the sermon?? and the candlelight while singing xmas carols. (: the sermons part was really touching. God is amazing, wonderful and everlasting. He alone can give us peace, forgiveness and healing. things that are priceless and we do not deserve. may His light shine on each and every one of our lives (:

He changes lives for the better.

and im going to smile and be happy. for i've Him in my life. for everyday is a gift. even if i face with many difficulties and feel like giving up, i know that every breath is priceless. and i cant waste it. (: and so, YOU should smile more too! (: (: (:

have i mentioned that my microwave has spoilt? LOL. my old microwave has just two knobs-- to control the heat and set the timing. my current one has abt a MILLION buttons! choose what meat-- fish, chicken etc! :O crazy! im going nuts over it. )): i think i really prefer simplicity in my life. who else?

but..
i also think that life would be pretty boring if everything is simple and easy. we are weird ppl-- we'll only start cherishing and reflecting and growing after we lose sth. and often, we arent so lucky to get second chances. lets be smarter and learn from past mistakes (:

p.s. im loving whatever i've in life.

just finished Vampire Diaries season 1! :D wooh! hahahah! well, yes, the image above is from Twilight the movie. hmm i think i prefer Twilight more, given the plot is simpler. but VD has more action. hahahah! and the actors in VD are much better-looking than T! LOL. i think the acting skills in VD are better too.

in Twilight, Bella felt.. inadequate; in VampireDiaries, Stefan feels insecure. hmmm.

p.s. im liking Damon more than Stefan these few days! esp as the eps progress!

YOU deserve to smile and much more.

/////
{edited'}

everyone has secrets. everyone has experienced hurt, that is well, life-changing or life-crashing. i guess things really change when someone.. moved on to another life. i grew out of my rose-tinted glasses when it was my grandmother, albeit unwillingly and agnst my will. life went through another a dramatic change when it was.. her. well, life has a rotten sense of humour, i cn tell you that. really really rotten. if i can personify life, i cn tear it apart and feel nothing at all. it sucks. life moves on, still. the world doesnt stop rotating on its axis, just bcos my world fell apart. the world doesnt actually care. so, i cont smiling. i cont looking for miracles and reasons to be happy everyday. every minute and second of my day.

and econs is definitely one reason for me to be grumpy.

2010-12-17T10:13:00.010+08:00

i love life
bcos youre in it.

warning! alot of photos ahead (:

there are many ways for ppl to let their frustrations, anger and disappointments go. letting balloons go, hitting pillows, sleeping, crying and writing them works!

for me, penning them down is one of the three tested-and-proven methods. as i mentioned, i bought a red diary; wrote 3 entries so far. be it thanksgiving or secrets, i think im a happier person now! muahaha! :D heh! its filled w my innermost thoughts and reflections.. i hope no one will ever pick up this ordinary looking book and read it! that will make me feel really vulnerable and exposed ):

on the topic of baby photos, someone owes me baby photo(s) hor! can i demand xmas present one not? :D

was a host ytd! hahah! awesome :D my dad's cooking is awesome, my mother's cleaning up is awesome, my brother is awesome-ly quiet ytd, and the company (MEEE!) is awesome! LOL. the fujifilm camera is awesome too! :D

Indian Poker! :D (i lost!)

my wonderful gigantic BEAR! :D

i love the photos taken! hahah! will be bringing the camera out tdy! so..

LOL. anw, im hoping i'll get to take photos w everyone! (:

i love life! (: studying and revision and work-clearing have been pretty successful! regular meeting-up w friends (: i love my family! i love my friends! *forgets all my troubles; just rmb
the happy times!*

whats the trick to happiness? stop dwelling on your unhappiness and let them snowball.

heh! jaime and sihui have a taste of my dad's fantastic cooking! :D it's really great okay! hahahah we were all so full that we din touch my hse's large icecream supply! LOL

ooh i wna invite ppl over agn! :D but when? l: hmm any suggestion? (: xmas? HAHHHHA

picture perfect memories.. oh i love that song! :D

2010-12-15T18:56:00.009+08:00

YOU MATTER.

i've too many/ much
# icecream at home! like FIVE big tubs!
# time-reading devices in my room alone!
# mineral bottles on my table???
# friends going overseas )))):
# rubbish in my room (SHIT! sihui coming over tml! and i asked her to ask crystal, diana and jaime!)
# nail polish stains on my varnished table! (nail polish is a vile substance!! ugh!)

and this leads me to..

too much laughter tdy!! :D :D heh! is this the first time me crystal jaime and sihui come tgt? :D FUN! :D hahaha! and first time going crystal's hse w her cousin! unfortunately, she's sick, crying and screaming alot-- so no pictures of her! but she's still really cute :D :D :D

hahahah really enjoyed myself tdy :D some photos of us tdy! :D

my favourite group photo! :D crystal, jaime, me, sihui (:
heh! retarded ppl! :D
the two of them so cute right!

life :D is beautiful. if it doesnt, im just going to rub my eyes, close my eyes, pray, wish and see things in another manner (: look at the bright side. always.

and! i hope i din make the wrong choice!! ahahaha! asked my mother, and told sihui she cn come tml! and i even told her to ask crystal diana and jaime! hmmm cnt wait to show my huge bear to them! but.. you know what that means? i gotta clear my rooooommmmm! oh crap ):

to do list:

- re edit econs

- revise chem organic (UGH)

- tidy my room (DOUBLE UGH!)

dont be afraid

hahahha! i feel like singing and dancing to this song right now! weird. LOL :D

Honey, i like the way youre everything i've ever wanted~

2010-12-11T17:28:00.005+08:00

we just gotta make meaning for our own lives;
(:

the world is a beautiful place. even if bad and unfortunate things do happen. keep looking out for miracles (:

heh. isnt this picture cute? ahahaha! life is really funny. what does it say when you cnt fit into the smallest size and children's biggest size?? does it say oh, you are not yet an adult, nor a child, so you arent supp to wear pants?? LOL. for my super-skinny brother, size 28 is too big, then my mother went to look at kiddie size-- he cnt fit! hahahah! surprisingly, HangTen got XS :O which he can wear! :D
p.s. i think my loose-for-me size 24 jeans might be tight for him! so he's size 26?? :O

omg! im a 17 year old aunt with 7 year old niece/ nephew?!!! :O i've like, 5 nieces and nephews (and 1 still in my cousin's stomach!) l: omg, i suddenly feel really old! hahahahah! my brother is 15, and he has a 7 year old niece :O there's sth wrong w the age! we aren't that OLD! *denial*

oh! watched Narnia ytd :D :D i like it! hhahah! my questions/ observations!
#1. i've no idea how their uncle look like! the only time he appeared, the newspaper covered his face. ): he doesnt talk either!!
#2. does anyone know how peter, susan, edmund and lucy's parents look like??
#3. a complain-er can be pretty hilarious!
#4. did the director/ producer know that the 4 kids would grow up to become so pretty and handsome now?? :O

work hard. i think that is life's one big challenge, isnt it? plus, with laptops, Internet, phones and tv.. there are distractions everywhere!

you reap what you sow.
at the very least, you wont have any regrets at the end of the day. maybe your best isnt enough; but at least, you can still feel at peace. knowing, you really did all you can.
p.s. i think exams not only test your.. knowledge and preparation, but also your mental strength. we are all superheroes after surviving so many exams and still standing now! and battling stress right this moment!

hhhahahha! my (ugh! i had these words now!) niece and nephew were teaching my poor aunts French ytd! LOL. they nearly died. my brother and i were having so much fun laughing at my aunts' horrified expressions! :D :D

call me silly; but you can make me really happy. i just cant let go. please let this friendliness last.

2010-12-08T10:10:00.006+08:00

It's OK 我不會累要大風吹吹走壞感覺;

there kinda, lots of things i want to say tdy, but i've no idea where to start. hahaha! so lets start with, oh, sixth sense/ intuition/ gut feeling. been having lots of that recently-- no idea why. had two ytd, and apparently they were right. LOL. anw!! my gut is telling me to get a diary. for what, idk! i had one cheapo de, but i gave up. aft writing one book?? lol. hope i cn find what i need (:
.
if what your intuition is telling you is opposite of what your head is saying-- what should you do? for once, i hope my common sense would shut up! and just let this be right.

heeh! heather says my blog is too happy. and w too many random stuff. AHAHHAHA! i din realise my blog is too happy! she says she only look at the pretty pictures. lol. and.. i think im so bad (just bad, nvr evil okay?). hahaha! while heather was getting so irritated and starting cracking her knuckles, i was just laughing uncontrollably. lol. i couldnt help it. idk why. (:
.
hahahah! i wonder if aiksheng realise when i signed out of msn. (eh, he realise chin charles replied 6 hrs ltr!) LOL. i always always do this to him when im on the phone w heather! i'll say brb, and nvr come back. oops! :D

isit really a serious dilemma? i cnt see and think clearly any longer l: to be honest, i really believe my emotions are back- normal, i mean. but i dont think that is the case. oh God, what do i do now?
.
i was really happy that week- despite getting frozen in stupid air con rooms. but somehow, everything went downhill since then.
.
i think im supposed to get angry. LOL. but i cnt. i only find doubt, uncertainty, disappointment, hesitation and that stupid bit of hope.
.
p.s. heh. i dont think this post is really happy :O

p.p.s but i can still smile :D

In Christ alone, my hope is found. He is my light, my strength, my song.

-- in Christ alone

intuition or superstition?
vivian (i hvnt see her bf yet!!) posted this on fb. LOL, my brother was making me hear this song for dk-how-many-times a day! so, now im kinda addicted to it alr. hahaah plus this video is much btr than the mv-like thing! (:

simple words, right? and damn simple design (its actually non-existant la!) but there's sth abt this image..

p.s. im sorry. for being such a wreck.

2010-12-06T08:43:00.005+08:00

i'll shine for you (:

my new resolution! im going to smile brilliantly. LOL. and bcos of my (metallic) braces, im sure it'll be brilliant enough! (;

going out ltr! wooh! hope there are lots of xmas decor! :D

sth about this image above.. idk, really makes me stop and wonder. lol, and im not that patriotic to think that it reminds me of the sg flag la l: tho, im thinking of it now. hahaha! i love this image! perhaps, its bcos of the colour contrast (: nice! (: what do you think?

speaking of dresses.. omg, i read in a mag somewhere that.. whats-her-name, geogia lee? attends about 50 events a year, and nvr wears the same dress! OMG! do i even own 50 dresses in my entire 17 years? :O

hahahah! went for a rather formal dinner last night. eh, wth it was supposed to be adults-only; so me and my brother are underaged!! (!@$@#%@!) lol. i only knew i was going 20 mins before leaving the hse. lol. oh! the restaurant is damn weird. seriously! the chair is too tall (and str!) while the table is too short! the bowl is too small and the spoon in it is too big! eh?!! lol

i think of you way too much. cotton candy, bicycle, tree, chicken, green.

i think, my observation skills have improved!! LOL. i could guess the murderers str away crtly now!! hahaha! i couldnt do that last time -.- see, im btr now! hahahah!

I MISS MY CLIQUE! FINALLY, ALL BACK IN SINGAPORE! :D

the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace.

-- Numbers 6:25,26

2010-12-03T20:16:00.005+08:00

一個笨蛋
(;

well! as usual ): my fringe is abit too short uh. lol. tsk tskkk. i prefer my hair BEFORE the haircut -.- does pulling it help to make it longer? *tempted*

looks so cute right? ahahahah! i get heart attack everytime i play mario. LOL. weak heart. anw. oh, i had one of the yummiest cheese muffin tdy! LOL at a salon aka where-you-get-a-haircut. talk abt coincidence! my mum still looks for my primary-school friend/classmate de aunt to do facial! MUAHAHAH apparently he still rmb me when i need to search from other ppl de fb to uh, recall. oops. i wonder how all the other classmates are doing, hws and gmss de l: time flies ):

i hope my future working environment will be as friendly as the one i saw in the salon! it feels really homey (: abit envious. hahaha! the hairdresser talks w all her customers! and their topics quite funny. LOL. they even talk abt how male hairdressers turn/ act gay overtime!!

my brother is super random. hahahah! gu-do gu-do = hungry, ga bom = wna da bian! then lightning sound = stitches. ehhh. LOL. like baby talk liddat!

nex? is a disappointment ): dont go there!

yep yepp! LOL. i change phone! hahaha hope it wont go crazy as fast as my LG one! (:

its one full week. in a way, actually. isit supposed to be a closure? well, it doesnt feel like everything is falling apart anymore, so i guess, its healing! (: and im going to smile and laugh and joke much more to make up. (: (: (:

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you.

-- John 14:27

life, by itself, is the greatest miracle. treasure it, keep hope and faith, and life wont fail you (: cherish the seconds you have now, and forget about those you lost and keep looking forward ((:

bcos that will be what im trying to do.

2010-12-01T17:34:00.010+08:00

the world is full of beautiful things;

saw this image and i thought-- im going to blog tdy. LOL. yea, i suppose nobody can see the link. hahahah! *random ttm*

what a week! its kinda over.. so im glad (: (: no one can promise you that life is a bed of roses. life isnt easy, but you can make it worth it. was telling JunJie.. many many things actually. lol. hmm i believe i told him abt perception (that our brains like to make things seem too complicated and hopeless! gave him the eg of straw and water. LOL) and.. what else? oh what i do when i face troubles.
everyone has ghosts.

You cant change the past, but you'll ruin the present by worrying about the future.
how true (: no point hanging on the past regrets and mistakes. no use giving yourself headaches thinking about the big unknown-- future. have faith. (: i'll pull through. so will you (: and everyone else. "today" is a gift from Him-- thats why its called the present.
faith is an essential in life.

no one deserves pain. (: you deserve to smile, to feel happiness. cheerios!

~~ugh, i cnt keep this idiotic youtube vid to the center!!!~~ ):

its the first day of december! (: new day, new month, new chances (: (: i wanted to put jump then fall or mine. i love those songs alot! plus, i feel like being reckless this month. LOL. (but no, im more comfortable being safe!)

p.s. i'll be grand.

2010-11-29T08:39:00.006+08:00

總是在夜深人靜想一個人;
oh, i love these words. but i'll die learning to write them! lol

been eating lots of hawker food recently! especially that yummy desert-- ice kacang!! ahahaha! eat until abit sick. LOL. im so pampered huh! anw, i miss my dad's cooking so much ): outside food is nowhere near la! i think the last meal he cooked was ytd lunch, and .. second last would be wed? ):

i think my emotions were in a roller coaster. until, idk, now? hahahah. *sighs* is this resilience or stupidity? i've no idea actually. ohyea. i saw this pretty quote while doing GP compre (yes i know! so no life right?!!)

We use denial as a defence mechanism; to protext ourselves from the force of a truth we imagine will be too shattering for us to cope with.

-- The Denial Syndrome

life, you have such a sick sense of humour. its so not funny. it hurts damn much. wont anyone agree w me? why do you have to shove such coincidences at my face. at our faces. did i say goodbye to her all those years ago? i know i din. not this time.

its scary to see look-alikes on the roads. despite knowing.. its just some other stranger.

but, i can totally do this. nothing is impossible! even in the word isit, IMpossible. (: (: (: this is ~~stupidity~~ resilience (: no idea what im trying to prove, but i will pull through!! (: (: hmmm my schedule was wrecked tho. hahaha! im supposed to have a new phone, shorter hair and no/less dandruff. LOL. now, im using super lousy spare phone, longer hair, worse dandruff. LOL. ironic much?

ethel went China on the day before, diana Batam ytd and heather Japan tdy! so shiok! hahaha! i want go overseas too leh! )): *SIGHS* totally not possible! lol

terence, is one crazy guy! he says i actually have a sense of humour *look of disbelief* i think, others will say im lame and random. HAHAHAHHAH

_______________
very few songs have the ability to literally make me stop and ~~stare~~ stone! this song is one of them (: there is sth abt this song.. hahahah know what? idk what i'll do if anyone actually sings it for me (': touched ttm, is one of them!

p.s. i hate feeling so uncertain, inadequate and helpless. i hate this. this will fade. this too shall pass.

2010-11-27T11:52:00.011+08:00

可不可以;
how can the sun still shine so brightly when its all falling apart?

omg! i was so happy with cinnamon melts, until i saw BROWNIE MELTS. wth, singapore no brownie melts ): *SIGHS* anw. who can be not happy with such yummy food? :D muahahahahah i hog it all to myself-- my brother doesnt get to eat it!
.
i made him look for my phone charger tgt w me, while he was eating breakfast! lol. im such a bully (: (: it turns out, i left my charger in gmss. and i cn only claim it back on monday (and im not free that day!!) crap. so im stuck w my old old old phone ): which sucks. lol. i cnt text properly. and gotta keep deleting smses *groans* but my parents wont buy me a phone yet. ohwell! (:

why, God? sometimes i just dont understand. well, thats what faith is all about right! (: despite everything and anything, i'll trust You. thank You thank You thank You (:

it's like You knew and put it there for me to read.

.
i'll be strong! i'll be happy! i'll be everything i need. to not worry you.
.

someone needs to define "friends" for me. you weren't here, you arent here. what do you want from me. you, are really confusing. mind-boggling. complicated. and everything.

p.s. what cnt kill me will only make me stronger. right?

_______________

2010-11-26T10:35:00.005+08:00

went for Guides campfire ytd! LOL. first campfire in the rain. hahahah! everyone was wearing poncho! even msng says its her first time! :D tsk, i feel so old during the campfire can! LOL. im okay w screaming (fyi, we seniors are the best. hahahah damn loud!) but im not okay w thousand-legged worm, (gigantic round of) friendship dance etc. whoa, very tiring can! lao le la ):
.

dinner was.. baby food. LOL. this mushy thing. l: doesnt sound nice right! doesnt taste fantastic either. hahah! i find it taste-less. some find it too spicy :O hahahah cassandra and natalie were drinking truckloads of water! eh, huishan pour water into her plate. LOL. dinner was hilarious!

p.s. the carrot is so crunchy!! l: LOL. apparently, every meal de carrot also liddat one!

p.p.s. sihui and i sneak out of camp early this morning to get more yummy breakfast. hahaha! dinner was horrifying!

i actually kinda miss Guides. if more of our batch went, i think it would be more fun ^^ and if we actually talk to the tchrs more! and more seniors! i only managed to see nazirah mdm last night ): missed janice and raina mdm who came earlier!

p.s. TSK! first msng cnt recognise us in the dark. then she kinda insulted ny. then she tot we are jc2 alr!!?

p.p.s FACEPAINT!!

sleep was.. hahahah horrible. shall sleep more tonight! hardly slept can ): less than 3hours, but im damn awake now. the cleaners waked me up so politely (at 6+!) when they went about their tasks so enthusiastically! ugh!!
.

life, oh life. sometimes, youre so cruel. do you know that? is asking for people to stay tgt so difficult? i dont like goodbyes or farewells. i want all of us to be tgt. friends, and family. im always waiting-- but for what? idk. miracles? i do realise, sometimes, this way is better for them. but it hurts. it always does.

i shall have faith then. holding on to the pieces of wtv remains. cont smiling and being who youre all used to. being random and crappy and lame (: and to keep waiting and waiting. and waiting.

p.s. if one day, i stop and do nth, will you take the initiative? bcos, i dont think you know that im waiting.

2010-11-24T17:22:00.009+08:00

being happy;

hahahahahha it felt like it was holidays ytd alr! :D lol. went swimming with suhui. LOL. while we were lazing in the pool, this lifeguard came and talk to us. lol, he tot we are sisters! and suhui is the older one-- working alr! hahahahah! being in the sun, and water.. damn shiok :D hahaha! damn happy. we played the slides like silly little kids. hahahah!! and this big bucket of water which splashes down when its filled? LOL it always caught us unaware. lol, and considering our long hair, we always look like crazy ppl! LOL. it was more like a talking&relaxing session than swimming (: (: (:
p.s. my butt hurts aft all the rides on the slides! OUCH! the slide need cushion?!! plus i take forever to reach the bottom of the slide -.- tsk!!

lunch outside with diana sihui weimei! hahaahh! eh. wth. i saw my classmates agn l: not fun. LOL. hahahah my fight-or-flight instinct favour the flight part alot. lol. i turned around and ran away aft seeing my classmates at longjohnsilvers (once agn!!) omg, so ps and funny in retrospect. but.. i suppose i'll still run off the nxt time i see those bunch of guys :D
p.s. i din feel that harrassed until i received that msg. ugh. (but sihui, you still cnt reply that la!!)

anw.. HAHAHAHHA this librarian.. told us-- no cutting of hair in library. LOL. cos wm has white hair.. i volunteered to help her cut. hahahah! LOL in the end i was laughing so hard, so i din notice if others stare at us (as wm recounted) lol, then we were debating-- isit btr to have white hair? or not enough hair?

im feeling really pro! i said a "story", so ridiculous that i couldnt keep a str face while saying it. yet, i managed to fool my mother, wm and sh!! HHAHAHAHA!
p.s. wm! im not naughty! hahahha just abit random!

omg! look at those donuts! ahhhhh i want!!! LOL. i think im infected by the donut craze agn! hahaaha! oh, i read somewhere that some countries believe that eating circular stuff is good luck for the new year! :D one country (canada?) eats donuts to represent that the year has come to an end etc. shall we go eat (YUUMMMYY) donuts at the end of the year?! :D :D :D *excited alr!*

ugghhhh! im getting a new phone this week? but i've no idea what to get! initially i wanted BlackBerry but i couldnt get over the fact that its so sooooo ex! ): so, i wanted a QWERTY phone! i nvr try before! but.. damn, all the qwerty (isit named like this cos.. look at your keyboard!) phones arent exactly fantastic l: *sighs* what should i get then? ):

i think im really good at waiting.

LOL. really. now that i think back.. anw.

2010-11-22T19:52:00.005+08:00

a random post today! :D

hahaha! oh, i wanted to say.. i think im really blind! diana was pointing sth to me at Subway! but.. LOL i've no idea what she wanted me to see. even until now, i cnt figure it out! hahahaha! and my dad told me to look at the moon-- which i did ofcos. but i look at the wrong place -.- and i saw no moon. hahahah, my dad and sis were greatly amused l: they share a weird sense of humour!

hahahah econs lecture.. cmi de la. lol. really, i only rmb rolling my eyes, laughing, TRYING NOT to laugh, talking and groaning. the lecturer v lol?? and heh, there were few guys sitting behind me, saying I SMELL TUNA (fyi, i did too, but. i did not say it out loud!) hahahah apparently, weimei and hweeleng who sat beside me, heard them too! in any case, those guys were pretty lame-- i wonder if they knew we could actually hear them! would they feel ps?? :D

p.s. econs assigment is horrifying! 3000 word essay AND 15min video to be uploaded on YouTube?!? i swear i saw mr nawandni (wm, i dont care the spelling!!!) smiling at our groans. sadist!

i think random-ness run in my family. lol. my brother went for facial! hahahaha! bcos of uh, ance problem. LOL, he somehow ended up signing a package.. 9 more facial treatments to go! *evil laughs*

the facial person (F): isit painful?

my brother (B): very hot leh.

F: *removes blanket*

F: isit painful?

B: got water in my ear.

F: *stops asking alr*

i realised sth really sad )):

me: my throat hurts! ):

hweeleng (H): you ate too much chocolate right!!

me: ... I THINK MY CHOCOLATES ARE FROZEN!!!

H: huh???

*sad sigh* D:

get it?

i kinda make decisions on the spur of the moment. and stubborness. and well, my feelings. (okay, maybe not in this particular order but.. you get what i mean) making a fully logical and reasonable decision is hardly my forte. ~~my (stupid stupid stupid^infinity) heart never understands whats "let go".~~ some ppl are really impt to me :D i guess, i wont let go just yet. this time, i cn think of TWO logical uh, reason! #1: they make me happy. #2: i really cnt let go now.

i really hope its right. (:

We take the laughter and the tears however they come, and let our God of reality make sense of it all.

-- Life Is Like Licking Honey Off a Thorn

not exactly a Verse, but i like it alot (: (: there are times when you feel like youre going to fall apart. but i know, i know i can trust Him.

p.s. one of my best moment tdy? im going swimming with suhui tml!! :D :D :D

p.p.s. am i the only one who thinks that the book has a really weird title?!

2010-11-21T10:06:00.003+08:00

i really think im a dreamer! hahahah! i hardly got anything done ytd l: which isnt a good thing! but i started on sth.. so i should finish it tdy ): ugh, not looking forward to that!

hahahaahha heather and i were random last night. you know BlackBerry? bb for short? she has a friend who uses bb and is from BB! hey, shouldnt we have gb, gg & np!! LOL.
p.s. im still undecided ):

if cats look like this in reality? then i guess i wont be freaked. LOL. but reality isnt perfect. deal with it. and it'll be beautiful!

p.s. what about you? ugh, i should just shut down my brain. lets see.. there's no such thing ):

2010-11-20T12:12:00.007+08:00

will you believe? bcos, i know i'll. (:

i think im weird. hahahha! i've no problems (at all) when it comes to telling others NON-STOP about my clique. lol. and until the point my classmates know the names in my clique alr! or telling some ppl in my class-- yes, i've someone i like (i know those 4 are dying to play truth-or-truth!) but i've no idea (none at all) how to tell them they are really impt to me l: maybe thats why misunderstanding is the norm in reality huh! ): uugghhhhh i need, idk. communicative skills lessons? (GP lectures are.. a waste of time. i only rmb "communicative skill levels" and taoism and audio sth?!)

which, brings me back to the top of my post tdy! ♥

.
p.s. where do i stand? really-- nothing or something?

2010-11-18T17:50:00.006+08:00

astons, harrypotter-ed and fish&co at suntec/ marina square area on 17nov! :D

you know, punctuality is impt! (we just had a short lecture tdy-- how singapore has no hope cos students are late for morning lectures!) hahahah suhui got the time wrong, jigme is.. "stranded" at sengkang and taxi-ed in the end. anw! hahahahh 4th time aston-ing at suntec. everytime sit different place!! LOL. talked and laughed. abt.. really, anything. especially at jigme! :D hahah! oh, and we were debating his top was white, purple or pink! lol, really, this grp of people is fun (: and gabrielle and her (disgustingly) bloody steak-thing! eeeh l: lol. jigme keep "stealing" terence's jacket and terence was really high ytd!

harrypotter! omg, (in my opinion, ofcos) its the best movie out of the series!! its funny (hilarious actually!) and well.. not-really-boring-as-others! it isnt that draggy la. and hahahah! i left the threater with some "question marks" but not as much as halfbloodprince (which i only rmb the dumb-sth guy died!!) anw, shichin is a walking harrypotter dictionary!! hhahah! i really like the movie (much to my surprise, honestly) there are so many funny parts which idk where to start! like the part harry and ginny kissed with a very avid audience! and hermione's deceptively-innocent-looking purse! and the toilet (gross) part. and in the ministry of magic ("lift" AND "mini horns"!) plus hermione's "anger" towards ron. and the interesting wand in the tent. HAHAHAH the movie is really nice.. except i went deaf. the sound effects abit too good uh?!
p.s. hahaha i was reminded of the "lift" thing in HP when sihui was trying her best to remain still on the train. hahaha pulling me along. LOL.

ate at fish&co! can i grumble about the price first? its outrageously expensive. LOL. i really left the place without a single cent on me )): not even a 5cent! anw. hahahah the two blurs (sean and jigme!) make a great pair! lol, they look super serious as they talk, but their topics arent serious at all! junjie complained that we ignore him! and unknowingly ignored shichin who was talking to him. HAHAHH! ohyes, jigme was really fascinated by sihui's blazer! back to dinner, vivian not as blur as before wor! hahah! she says her bf is blur too! LOL. wesley joined us halfway (and kept calling me bamboo/sugarcane-- which i must say, is totally untrue) oh, i explained why pH -1 exists, until i nearly confused myself. HAHAHAHH!
p.s. im swearing off fish&co. for good! my wallet is still in the hospital! ):

i was damn tired when i rch home. hahahaha! did i walk alot? HMMM!

went lunch (MOS BURGER) and window shopping with sihui! hhaha! which was fun! hmm took some photos! i guess.. i shall bully my brother into uploading them tml! :D lunch was rather nice except..
p.s. terence! i had 100% sugar for KOI! hahaha! and um. honestly? it isnt that sweet la! its just nice :D :D sihui's 50% is almost tasteless! :O

i cnt decide! am i shy or antisocial? hahaha! i saw my classmates at J8 while innocently having lunch w sihui! ))): LOL. and apparently they saw me (despite me hoping otherwise!) too! ohyea, i was telling sihui how they were talking to me in school after lectures.. and she said i sounded harrassed. LOL. anw! and we saw nyjc tutors at .. MOS?! um. v uh, "fortunate" for us! hahah!

and i saw janice (WHEW, not the guys!) ard orchard like, twice??? LOL. once in school after lectures, once at bishan, once at somerset, once at orchard!!
p.s. we are so pro at walking around! lol. tho me sihui and janice complain of leg pain )))):

oh anw! window shopping! hhahahahha dragging my mother off to shopping tml! hah! it wont be window shopping tml alr! LOL.

and.. back to lecture (unfortunately!) h1 and h2 econs squeeze inside lt4! mygoodness, nvr knew that many ppl took econs! even when some classes *ahem* skip lectures! LOL. some poor souls gotta sit on the floor.. meaning my class guys la. HAHAH! for an hour? heh. anw. there was this loud irritating static sound! and the lecturer said "lets try to ignore this bg music". okay, im mean la! LOL. but really, bg MUSIC?? i suppose economists dont understand english much?? hahahha (i couldnt help it) and i went to repeat bg music, music, MUSIC, bg music?!! and made the ppl near me laugh along. HAHAH! oh, and sihui too! when i recounted it for her!

christmas decorations are up at orchard! there's this nice big pale PURPLE christmas tree outside.. ION. i think. (im nvr good at directions!) its nice! :D and hahahah me and sihui walk all over orchard to find far east! LOL. hahaha we became the more mature-and-sensible & less lame-and-idiotic dora-the-explorers tdy! :D

i realise.. hahahha i've been posting more regularly and.. with increasing details on my blog! am i compensating for my lack of determination to have a diary? hahahha! and i found out my archive is a total fail. LOL. any idea how to get the by-month archive?? mygoodness, i need help. LOL. its a mess!!

... not sure if i want to cont Vampire Diaries. okay, its nice and all. but, seriously, im not sure how long i cn stand seeing Elena and Stefan "looking" at each other?!?! and sihui )): really, you dont have to tell me the pda-ness (im sure there's no such word! i should probably stop coining words..) of my classmate right ): now you cn imagine what torture my eyes went through during 1017 bbq! :O hahah!

yes or no? keep doing wtv youre doing or change sth? sometimes, decisions in life can be rather simple. but, LOL. first, deciding yes-or-no is the difficult part. and i realise i cnt decide. does sth/someone which/who make you laugh and smile like an idiot count as a yes??

p.s. blackberry? torch (ex) or bold (cheaper) ? hmmm l:

2010-11-16T19:19:00.012+08:00

nostalgia.

i saw an old lady enjoying her ice cream. and another playing happily with a little kid. omg, and i got nostalgic. (': simple things can be a source of contentment and happiness (: have you found your source? (: (: (:

chem olymp.. finally ended! LOL. wooh. no more boring, draggy, abstract conceptual chemistry lessons in frigging cold rooms! damn happy abt it. hahahah! especially no more lessons in the cold rooms part! and i tell you, forget abt chem olymp being a good experience. seriously. the "setter" is a person who has a curious(-er) mind! some qns are really ridiculous!!

Qn17 (I STILL RMB THE QN NO?!) which element here is not named after a place? californ-sth, dub-sth etc etc.

may i ask you: what is your reaction when you read this qn?!!! (a) surprise (b) horror (c) confusion (d) impulse-to-laugh-out-loud (e) all of the above!

fyi, MCQs have 5 options, sth like what i listed!

btw, mr wan is weird. LOL. he said sth like-- all scientists should come tgt. and study. uh.. yea. he said that during ytd's lesson. and it was a compulsory lesson! so.. 5 out of 14 came. LOL.

we're gonna be fine

we can win the fight

with a little bit of love

we can see the light

with a little bit of love

it'll be alright

my dear girls, how are you holding up? rmb my "hotline" (hey! im sure youre more familiar w my no. than im!) okay? (: (: (: *HUGS*

what can i do? how can i help? you've no idea how it is like for me.

have i ever mention on my blog that jc is such a sad sad sad institute? people just get stressed and unhappy and dissatisfied with life. and oh, im sure we are damn glad to leave the secondary school! and then to enter the self-imposed two-year-imprisonment in jc. i think im being cynical, but still.

my sister was saying: actually GP can be practiced and trained one.. (pause) its like writing blogs. just that its more structured.

um. im sure almost all jc students wont agree with the over-optimistic-and-simplified view of my sister. LOL

oh, my mother thinks im nuts.

me: *makes a loud inaudible scream-like sound*

my mother: *comes running out of the kitchen* what what what?!

me: got Mentalist!!

my mother: what mentalist?!

me: TVVV!!

my mother: chey!!

p.s. im going to watch The Mentalist tdy! wooh! :D :D :D

2010-11-14T22:51:00.008+08:00

mygoodness ): there's school tml. TSK! i bet it'll be damn quiet and empty (just like on friday!) ohwell. hahhahaha! i pon-ed chem for the surprise on 12th nov. anw, on the school litespeed portal, the tutors were expressing their (extreme) displeasure over our lack of display of commitment. LOL. huh. after reading that, i suddenly felt damn glad that i pon-ed chem. HAHAHH! weird, but still.

hardly did anything tdy! well, other than daydream (which is somehow, a frequent habit of mine recently) and reading storybooks! and well. (sadly) got started and stuck on electromagnetic spectrum. i made an effort to google the references given! its not of much use l: in any case.. i should read Organic Chemistry: Carbonyls, Carboxylic Acids & Derivatives before i sleep. or sth (yes, i do know i sound like i've no life at all!!) D:

it somehow.. felt normal now. idk, sth's still off. but its feels more like you now. i guess i should be contented with that alr (: well, im alr luckier than the majority. i suppose. please be happy. (:

hahahah my goodness. did i get myself a bodyguard?? LOL. terence is weird. hahaha!

*~+TEr3n[E+~* 《跨时代》 says:
~~yes. xiao jie is a good girl~~
lol seriously i will fail as a bodyguard if i can't protect u frm diabetes =_=

hahahah i found it damn funny. to the horror of the poor guy. LOL. ohyea, its bcos we were on the topic of cotton candy (WOOH!) and high sugar intake! he finds it horrifying that i added 5 sugar packs into a cup of hot coffee. LOL and i shouldnt tell him i added 7 packets before, once!

p.s. i guess, im still more comfortable w the npgg grp! i think my class guys are weird. in general. seriously. LOL.

2010-11-14T00:13:00.005+08:00

went out like mad this week. hahahah i just tot i should wrap up this week with a pretty brief summary (:

8th nov-- went out with diana after her OP :D had Aston's (and saw my cousin!?) listened to lovesongs throughout the entire lunch time! LOL and had delicious and sinful chocolate Hesley's icecream pie! wooh! :D and pop over to Bugis library! hahaha borrowed Please Forgive Me (may dedicate afew paragraphs on that book someday!)

9th & 10th nov-- OP practice! hahaha two members were so afraid of letting my tutor see our presentation that we had to waste time, waiting for her to leave before we rehearse. bcos she make us change our slides and script etc until we feel damn insecure ):
&diana's birthday!

11th nov-- OP! not as bad as i tot! hahahah! had super late dinner bcos.. *thinks abt crystal* LOL
&sihui's birthday!

12th nov-- surprise! and class bbq! mmhhhmmmm fun, long and tiring day!

13th nov-- GongCha-ed and Vivo-ed with sihui (: (:
&had super-delicious hokkien mee w my parents! im so in love w chao-xia-mian!

14th nov-- ... planning to read up on Chem (TSSSKKKK), finish the not-so-perfect man, and start on another! oh! and collate responses for npgg! (ehh! i still want to swap role leh?!)
&upload photos!

speaking of which! muahahahah sth to confess. im a terrible sister. LOL. i think im a horrible habit of bullying my brother. like scolding him for sending super-short replies? and making him sms me when the tv starts cos im in my room. and (going to) make him upload 60+ photos from my phone! and.. (MAYBE) upload them onto fb too! and, mmhhhmmm dl google chrome or sth. HAHAHHAH! in case you din know, i've a severe reading addiction. im obsessed abt books! especially romance books. with murders, mysteries all over the chpts of the books. LOL. i love reading happy endings. i love knowing that having faith, daring to do things and believing make things right. even if the book makes me.. idk, nostalgic? and stuff. i still love reading. hahaha!

certain books make me change my perspective-- somewhat la. or make me see things in a different perspective. but still, i hate reading abt i-did-this-for-you routine. *SIGHS* it always always leads to regrets. tsk.

AHAHAHHA even tho, my obsession with twilight (and i just mean that book. NOT the entire saga!) doesnt make me believe in vampires. nor a different species who sparkle in sunlight. but it does make me think that we shouldnt stereotype. LOL. second chances. (:

p.s. i keep seeing F.R. the whole time. and damn, i'll be lying if i say i dont think of you.

2010-11-13T23:10:00.006+08:00

went all the way to Vivo--
just for Gong Cha.

hahaha! nuts or what? LOL sihui and i met at Vivo to have our bubble tea date! LOL. tho.. in the end we had House Special Iced Coffee (NOT bubble tea!) which sihui ordered too little sugar and was tooooo bitter! hahahah so, the main aim of us going to Vivo in the first place was.. hmm fell short.

i nearly froze while waiting for sihui! one hour..? anw! her shoe spoil )): wanted to get her (dream) floral rubi shoes! but cotton on/rubi doesnt have it ): so she ended up buying her HAPPY dress! wooh! hope she's coming on wed, then we shall all see that dress :D oh and we shopped at this.. placed called Valerie or sth. bought some more clothes. LOL. i think sihui happiest! hahaha one dress, one shorts, one skirt! i only bought a top! hahahaha great buys much? :D

as i said, we ended up getting coffee. hahaah! whoa, sihui only added 30% sugar, its bitter ttm. doesnt even taste remotely sweet! but the pearls were nice! HAAHAHH!

aft being alil high on coffee, we went to Forever 21! hahaha omg. we had lots of fun there! "played" with hair bands and sunglasses. i would get the photos up-ed when i upload them! :D hahahah then maybe you can see what i mean :D
p.s. Forever 21 was one of my favourite places tdy! hahaha!

p.p.s. see how childish we were?! hahahhah! :D
looked at phones. omg. i want BlackBerry Torch! seriously! my fav design! :D wooh! if its still too ex.. maybe a BlackBerry would be fine too :D i wna get a new phone soon! :D

hahaha! sihui and i walked all over the 2nd floor to look at phones. LOL. first we walked past Singtel, while she was on the phone w heather (SHE WAS AT VIVO EARLIER?!) aft the call, we walked back to Singtel. after which, we walked back to where-sihui-ended-the-call-with-H to see M1. so we walked from Singtel, to M1, to Singtel, to M1 :D exercise?? LOL

p.p.p.s see whats the difference btwn the two shots? :D

pretty happy tdy! hahaha! except.. it was raining when im walking home! ): damn heavy. so, i got drenched D: (and my mother is totally not sympathetic abt it!) seriously, from head (hair) to toe (even my shoes!) tskkk. but it felt rather cooling and good. LOL. long time since i got that drenched!
p.s. i miss swimming!

watching Vampire Diaries. LOL. its addictive. but, crap. it feels really slow to watch one-ep-a-week! ): and i really admire the main casts for having the patience to write diary everyday. i cnt do that! i tried! and its stupid, i even censor my own thoughts in my own diary. whats the point of having a diary in the first place then?!

google, youre scary. i was lazy to dig out (seriously.) my periodic table for chem. so i typed "molecular mass of sodium ethanoate". omg, there's ALOT of results! *jaw drops open*

isit a sign that i shouldnt do math? LOL. i cnt find any available foolscap. anywhere. (in my room, that is.) i think i lost my memory aft Promos leh! anw, i borrowed foolscap from my brother, who borrowed from my sister. hahah!

will i one day have the guts to tell you: hey, she wasnt the only one. i do that too. only difference is, i probably wont confess just how often it happens.

2010-11-13T09:23:00.009+08:00

happiness is
what you see. (:

hahahah! omg. i went out for over 12 hours ytd?! crazy much! i know i know. LOL cnt believe it myself! what did i do actually huh? i seriously think that time just flew by!

met w crystal heather weimei at vivocity (: LOL i led weimei to harbourfront instead of vivo, then we had to find our way back! hahah! me and weimei (knew mtg time was 11 30, but we were early), crystal tot its 11 at vivo, heather tot its 11 30 at plazasing! LOL! anw, diana was sick )): so it ended up as sihui's birthday surprise!

there were ofcos. some uh, minor problems. like we only had 4 IDs and cnt get 5 (NC16) tickets? then we *whispers* did some things, and manage to get the tickets. but LOL talk abt coincidence. the tickets were: F07, F08, G07, G08 & G09! unexpectedly so close tgt! :O oh! and sihui came earlier than expected, but luckily she din see us tho we were on the b2 too! and while we (C, H & ME) wanted to enter the cinema, H tot she saw W, and we ran into Canon like mad crazy teenagers. LOL. the personnel there stared at us ): hahaha in the end hor, no one knows if H really saw W not! hmmm!
anw! S did got surprised!! :D wooh! and i think there were tears of joy. hahahha! we videoed at the staircase of the cinema.. but the vid somehow wasnt saved etc!! ): there was a make-up video but.. ANW we (evil-ly) made sihui take the cake (just the cake alone!) all the way from cinema to kopitiam! heh! btw, its Caramel Tiramisu (look directly above!) and its damn nice! :D C went to buy food, and i happily take 5 forks while ppl look at those forks w a funny face. HAHAHAH!

while eating, we talked abt retarded stuff. like you know, C's super-evil maid who has this sick obsession w rubber bands or sth. and C & her bf! and random stuff like. what our looks tell you abt our future jobs. and random matchmaking! (which was damn funny) and imaginery proposals and wedding! hahah i think we traumatised S when we said there'll be frogs on the floor, and they will keep croacking as the orchestra! LOL and this was bcos C rmb this particular promise (which me, W and H dont rmb at all!) and seriously, din we make other promises?? why you rmb that promise! HMM FYI! we watched due date! the story line is "simple". i found it nonsensical, actually. LOL. anw, i love the actor. Robert Downey Jr. his acting is great! i prefer him in Sherlock Holmes tho!

then i went to class bbq. which was pretty awkward? hahah! then when we saw Varina (who "Dropped out"), everything started to be more fun. LOL. we talked crap and played poker. when i finally won by getting 21 points exactly, they decided to end that round. abruptly. so no one saw my perfect 21 points?!!! LOL. hahahh! then two guys came to the girls-table. one (yiyiiing) said: any diff btwn these 3 plates of otah? the guy behind (edison) said: yes! this, hot, that one not hot, then that one got wasabi! and the 2 guys start er, uh.. they din fight. they din hug (:O). they were like.. wrestling. AHAHHAH!

what other funny parts were there.. hmmm. this girl loves singing! korean song in particular. but edison&yiyiing din dl korean songs into the laptop. HAHAHA then the two of them keep running away whenever ruxuan shouted: WHY NO KOREAN SONG?!! oh, ahhahah varina keep making us laugh by saying how er, qiao, edison's butt is -.- and he's seriously damn bhb! when the guys were wrestling him to get him be a guinea pig, he was laughing, resisting, and saying: SEE! THEY LOVE TOUCHING ME! ?!?! crazy!

btw, the 3 couples were damn gross?? LOL. one hor, keep feeding his gf and hugging in broad day (&night) light! the other, feed her bf AND.. stuff. tsk, they shouldnt even be within 3m radius from one another!! hahah then our eyes will be saved!

and idk why they drank -.- two guys drank and kena punished to walk around topless (cos they lost) AHHAHA my friend choked on her food! and thank God i din turn around and see! another guy drink until his face damn red! we keep teasing him abt it during Monopoly Deal! he keep denying: im just embarrassed okay?!?! five girls drank too! and they damn hiiigghhhh! mygoodness.

played truth-or-truth. (the name is actually self-explanatory!) Meiqi kena 3 or 4 times? hhaahha disclosed some stuff abt her bf! me just once. hahahah they were dying to cont and ask the other qn, but i think i was saved by the whole-class-tgt dare-or-dare! but its damn boring -.-

anw! someone posted this on fb, and i kindof found it really funny! YiYiing: "had fun! 1017, the world is so quiet and dark without all of you.." he was the one who appeared most drunk?! he went topless. then nearly fell asleep making bday wish. and smelled like beer!

oh, and did i mention that i din get to eat sambal stingray ytd?! ):

mygoodness. this is such a long post! if i find out how to have this.. "click to cont post" thing, i'll use it!

actually, im supp to be studying now l: like seriously, ionic equilibrium is boring? there are two sets; i hvnt even fin one! and there's another online set on BIOchemistry. crap! how do i study that?! i alr died at enzymes as catalysts ):

what is going on? what do i do? what can i do? there's only one thing i know-- imy.

2010-11-11T14:11:00.004+08:00

there are times when i just want to
scream.

hahahaha PW is over! wooh! i felt like an idiot once its all over. its like, wth, i felt so nervous.. for what??!! hahahah! its like nth! OOPS. really, it was easier than i expected! (tho my friends told me my hands shook!) perhaps my mind was preparing for the worst, so.. it wasnt that bad (: (: (: tho my whole grp died at Q&A. really, the question i got, was totally unexpected (?!!) whew, but its over. im seriously trying not to care abt it (and im succeeding!) :D

hahahahah the 'class' my group was assigned to.. is fun. LOL. funny things kinda keep happening! like this group, where all of them have accents l: i know i sound mean, but really! every single one of them has an accent. distinctive ones, in fact! my friends were more mean, they seriously laughed out loud! LOL. and there's this guy who kept both his hands in mid-air.. tsk. LOL. damn distracting; and my classmate said he should move his hand, then he'll look like a fortune cat! hahahah! then this person accidentally "crack" his finger during his OP! two of my friends heard the crack :O ohmy. did that hurt? LOL
p.s. i rmb funny things from OP. like, 50 million tweets a day!? seriously?? and africans think that eating yam will make you stupid?? hmmmm??? *super stunned expression*

you know, i cnt believe OP is over! (and i still hvnt heard anything from you.) aft all that nervousness and dread.. lol, its like overcoming some nightmare-- which wasnt as scary as i imagined. well, now i've more faith ^^ thanks PW (: at least, you've done sth good!

i'll be busy reading these few days (apart from studying and tutorials!) hahaha i love reading. isit a bad habit? idk, sometimes it helps me to calm my mind. and stop thinking too much. whereas, sometimes, life just likes to play jokes. it is damn ironic to read sth that is so close to home. but still, i love reading. im going to start on this book soon-- not-so-perfect man. mmhhmmm i got a feeling its going to be a great read :D

sihui (: its your birthday tdy! mmhhmmm im actually not sure how often you visit my blog, but girl. i really love you (: this clique totally rocks, and we'll always be there. sometimes, you need to see that (: faith isnt easy, but someday, youll see it (: (: (: wooooh :D youre a year OLDER now! heh :D

i've chem lessons tml. where's life, man. tsk tsk. LOL. ohwell. i'll see what i cn do then! :D there's nth too hard! (: there's sth wrong, when girls have confused looks on their faces while guys are asking weird chemistry questions. i guess, guys are btr in chem?? l: hmmmph!

dear you, its nearly a week already. do you know that? how much longer are you going to take? if blinking helps, trust me. i'd do that, for you.

i love smiling. even when facing troubles. i wont let problems and worries beat me. im going to be stronger than that! :D :D

p.s. 对着镜子我承诺迟早我会还这张脸一堆笑容

2010-11-10T14:53:00.002+08:00

you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are gray
you'll never know, dear
how much i love you
please dont take my sunshine away

you know, if i start singing this tml? im not sure if i'll faint or cry or scream! LOL! cos the song we came up with, uses this tune. which im not sure if its a great idea.. cos im more familiar with this lyrics! OHDEAR! hahahaha! and im (apparently) still a worrywart! my pw members: "HUIQING!! dont worry so much okay?!" hahahah! i was giving them a list of worst-case scenarios :D cnt help it. maybe, its part of my personality! *dramatic SIGH!* lol (;

diana poh! hahahahha! its your birthday tdy! :D *HUGS!* wooh! my dear dear dear OLD friend's birthday has finally come (; hahahah just realise that years flew pass! (plus the fact that my brother just had his olevel chinese paper!!) time wont stop for us, but we'll cont to be tgggtttt! LOL. be happy tdy! :D :D :D

im actually.. pretty nervous, now! LOL ohman! i hope deep breathing would help me tml! mmhhhmmm or else i also dk what i'll do. the worst thing that happen to me during rehearsals was.. hahahahh my whole body was shaking -.- tsk, its not fun at all! hope it wont happen. ever ever ever ever again! LOL

anw! my entire clique has gone thru this OP alr! i can do this!! :D :D :D

idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. jerk. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. eejit. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. idiot. AHHHHHHHHH! hahahahhh okay, im fine! LOL. how i wish i could scream out loud. but no way, if it means i'll worry my parents crazy if i do that! hahahahhahahh

tsk. lol. i bet i'll be laughing at myself the nxt time i see this post. seriously! i wonder what you (who are reading my whinnyyy post) is thinking! hahahhha that im crazy?!?!?! LOL

p.s. please get out of my mind, will you. its not healthy-- thinking of you and missing you. i cnt help it. and life just keep happily throwing memories and coincidences at my face. damnit. this is not working. do you get it??

2010-11-07T13:17:00.003+08:00

how normal am i?
call me crazy!

hahaha! my family must have thought im nuts. lol
(wednesday night)
my dad: what's the occasion for dinner tml?
me: celebrate deepavali :D
my dad: *laughs, leaves the room.. and pass me money!*
(saturday morning)
me: burgerking!!
my dad: we're going to tamp just to eat bk??!!
lunch-- bk at tamp (;

oh! and there's still my sis-- she always always always have a problem w the way i hold my fork and knife. hahahah! she says i hold them the opposite way, and she has the urge to teach me the proper way. but, hahahah! its super difficult to tch me :D so, she always roll her eyes and laugh at the idiotic way i hold utensils!

also! im crazy about my clique! AND you. idk if this is right, idk how things will go, but i hope and pray that everything will be alright (:

btw, i forgot to off my laptop! ): it has been on, since.. ytd morning! OMG! l: i hope this laptop wont spoil! *crosses fingers!* and i think i'll leave it on till tonight! bcos of OP. tsk tsk. i wonder if my laptop explodes, cn i ask MOE to reimburse? LOL

the OP week starts tml! thats damn fast! hahahah im actually not sure if i want it come even faster (get it over and done with!) or slower (more prep time!) l: hmmm. anw, i dont suppose we can control the time! so, let nature takes it course-- and we give it our very best. and seriously, this idiotic pw is a stupid compulsory-for-all-jc-students test for endurance! ): but, we cn definitely do this! cos, know why? we have alr completed the bulk of pw! PI, EoM, I&R, GPP, WR! whats OP?! :D we've come so far alr, lets do this! anticipate the ending of pw, instead of fearing the OP (: cheerios! :D

random! my parents.. are getting themselves couple rings. LOL! hahahaha romantic much? i find it damn amusing :D so what if the sum of their age is almost 100? the feeling is still there! :D

Luke 8:50
But when Jesus heard it, he answered him, saying,
Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole.

don't know what tml brings; but im still hoping.

p.s. there's this strange feeling.. i shall ask "how's life" if i get the chance tdy. (:

2010-11-05T15:02:00.003+08:00

have you ever thought of this?
i do care.

~~i think~~ there's sth wrong w me! as in, i feel cold damn easily these few weeks! hhahahah i was seriously shaking throughout the lesson in the library ytd! lol, i excused myself from the lesson at 12. LOL. the tutor actually let me leave! nice guy, i think. except he takes a super long *YAWWNS* time! 90 mins to go thru 12 slides?? muahahaha i wont say im slow anymore! :D

you again-ed with dewi and ethel! hahahahha they bought this megamind popcorn set! LOL. a "bottle"-like thing came along w it! with a megamind er.. thing. action figure?? hahaha! we laughed damn hard at it! the person at the cashier.. kinda look like she was going to laugh! :D hahah the movie was pretty nice. but the school bullying part was sad ): otherwise, its either damn funny or sweet (and makes you go awwwww!) hahah! i like the fact that people deserve second chances! and life is full of chances (: grab them!
p.s. why din we watch "life as we know it"?? i still wna watch that! lol

camped and talked at mac! me dewi ethel crystal heather fooxin chuanyee wanxin (: laughed like mad! crystal and ethel bought happy meal :O lol. then it comes w.. megamind (agn!) action figures! and we played w them like people deprived of childhood! hahahah dewi dk how to play this spin-thing! when she finally cn spin it, she was so happy and sad sth like i did it! then this guy beside her was trying damn hard not to laugh! LOL. and.. fooxin doesnt know how to play w it too! hahaha!
omg! i din do it on purpose! lol, i was so ps that i keep laughing! i totally forgot that fx told me to call her aft the movie! and i was still asking ethel, why fx not here yet? she told me she ends at 3plus, ard city area! oops! *guilty*

in the end, we dinner at pastamania! xinying and shikin join us there too. LOL we are like one bunch of crazy ppl there, keep laughing. and gossiping. hahhaah! laugh like mad! :D then we went outside of plaza sing to talk. we sat on the floor, like meal ring liddat! LOL. and we talked abt our lives and all. hahah dewi's, crystal's and fooxin's "exciting life"! :D took some photos, uploading them some other time! :D

learning points!
{x} xinying and shikin dk alot of things! LOL they cn be shocked really easily! hahaha :D
{x} dewi, ethel, fooxin still laugh alot! (: its contagious!
{x} crystal's still as random as usual! (: (: (: *relieved* lol. and like old times, sometimes, no one understand her joke! (;
{x} chuanyee seems so lonely when he's the only guy ): LOL

[photos to be inserted here! ^^]

bottom: heather, crystal, xinying, shikin and me! top(2nd): chuanyee, fooxin, dewi and ethel! hahaah abit squeezy in the 1st photo! lol :D and.. sheesh. look at cy! his face, like same same one. lol.

hahaha look at the bg! we are always taking photo with that.. mother&daughter. hahahah!

///
my mother's birthday tdy :D hahahah! she's great! (: i love her loads! (: (: (: but her sense of humour is still horrible tho. LOL. she thinks im a pig, "chi bao le jiu shui!". when hor, im the only one awake, while my whole family is sleeping! ironic :D

cheerios for pw! nxt week is a dreadful week for jc1s! but jy! its not impossible! i'll post agn, on sunday (: for encouragement! :D

2010-11-02T16:21:00.004+08:00

remember:
love some more!

idk if i want to laugh, or cry. LOL. i think i lost my thumbdrive. for good, this time l: its the smallest thumb i have! but ironically, it has the largest capacity. but anw. damn, my pw stuff ): that idiotic thumb is always missing! tsk! hahahahhaa! my classmate is supp to help me find it.. but he's alil busy pa-toh ing! er. hahahah!

lunch w crystal ytd! (: (: spell p-e-a-c-e ~
p.s. what expression was on my face that made you ask that? tell meeeeeee!

mmhmmm. a level chinese is over. LOL. i kinda din feel much, other than the cold! omg. hahahah the entire day is super cold la! i think i really wen ti duo duo (btw, you aren't supp to agree?! lol)!

will you ever take one step back and look at me?

2010-10-30T09:07:00.008+08:00

perhaps a break is what
all we need.

on the whole, ytd was a happy day! hahahhaha! first, i sent a random "IT'S FRIDDAAAYY" msg to cheer ppl on, and got my inbox flooded. lol. i think i totally deserve it. fyi my phone vibrated like siao. i was so worried it'll break down on me before nxt month!! ): lol

dry run was pretty great! less nerves, cos i think less audience. LOL. and yes! im finally loud enough! woooh! but.. the assessor totally forgot abt me for QNA ): am i invisible? plus, i wear dark blue shirt, while the other members wore uniform leh!!!

trying to do sth constructive in the library while waiting for sihui. omg, its damn cold inside?? it was air con, plus rain outside! lol. i still think you should THAW aft getting frozen tho. hahahahh

dinner at tamp, pizza hut! with (3S) sihui suhui shichin, (2A) ailing aiksheng, (L) liuzhi, (W) wanxin, (J) jigme/ the-reason-why-we-laughed-so-damn-hard! it was a rushed-planned-out dinner but it was really fun!

hahhah! ohman. i really miss seeing you guys. idk, everytime i see your, all the stress etc seem to uh. evaporate. lol! (: (: (: hahahah still rmb how we "camp" outside pizza hut to wait for our turn. and how we spam photos! and how ailing was doing her pw with.. lol, shichin as the table and jigme as the take-notes-de! how when we finally got got our food.. aiksheng added pepper, cheese and chilli into his soup! :O hahaha and how jigme says "i dont want to lose you before NS!" (fyi, i hope aiksheng doesnt get sent to the kitchen as assitant during NS!) towards the end.. hahhahha we laughed at jigme's (badly mistaken) chinese! btw he doesnt know how to write the third letter of his chinese name! he looked at his IC :O lol. and he doesnt know how to use a chinese dict, and wonder why there isnt any english in it! (his chinese isnt good, but his gp damn good!!!) hahaahha i hope suhui uploads the videos soon! oh, and the photos using liuzhi and suhui's camera! :D i'll upload one or two! (: or three, depending on my mood! hahaha! :D

one of the last epic moments of jigme's : the toothpicks we used outside pizza hut were in his pants pocket throughout the entire dinner! he totally forgotten abt them!
(we left at abt 10 30. hahahah if i rch home late cos i meet up w friends? its usually bcos my sec school mates are too much fun!)

wanxin! (: hope the dinner last night was great (: happy birthday! :D stay cute, yea? :D

crystallim, dianapoh, heatherlee, tansihui, tenweimei!!! clique gathering? seriously, choose a date, i'll get sth planned out (: it usually helps alot when we are tgt (: (: (: in life, there are always disappointments and we have to learn to let go. thats why we have God and friends! sometimes, just your efforts alone isnt enough, but never let that stop you from working hard. i love YOU.

it's a sat morning! so what if i have dental in the morning, and a level chinese on monday, and OP looming and all? its the weekend! :D

just to see you (: and im contented already.

[EDITED!]

(crazy) suhui & the birthday girl, wanxin! (; ( all 4 of us are 17 le! hahahah my shirt! :D )

me and wanxin! look at her! :D (right) the ONLY guys that day! jigme, aiksheng, shichin (:

all of us! :D look at our happy faces! woooh!

2010-10-27T17:30:00.002+08:00

will you believe me if i tell you
"it'll work out" ?

rmb the M&M (:
M oderation
&
M iracles.

if you do not have enough faith, i have sufficient to share (:

everyone has troubles and problems.
but i believe, they will all work out.

trust me? (:

2010-10-26T19:08:00.002+08:00

just wanted to say:
it'll work out.
(:
life has been hectic! even aft promos *faints* how could i ever think that life would be easy aft the hellish promos? i think my brain is crazy! with OP and stuff..

i cnt help but notice how ppl around me have become more depressed, down, cranky and generally unhappy. ): cheerios! (: bcos you know this will all end soon! and i demand that i see your cheerful self aft pw! :D

i think im lucky. lol, in many aspects (; like pw. all groups have problems. mine too! talk abt this absentee member who hasnt contribute anything (not even a slide or picture or animation or word!) and hasnt signed on the wr so.. yep, our grp cnt submit it yet l: and we cnt get feedback on I&R, since he hasnt submitted his. and 2nd draft is due this week! but! the rest of the members are cooperative and we did extra work. i know. really, i know our efforts would pay off (: you too, have to trust that (:

cnt believe im jealous of a lil boy ): you know, he has such a loud voice! i want that for OP! hahahaha omg. i want to hide my face somewhere! i was so nervous that i was seriously shaking like mad. lol. my classmates were saying, omg, how did you manage to finish your presentation when youre shaking so badly?! honestly? i have no idea too! nerves. its just nerves. nth serious (: we can conquer stupid OP! :D

as i said previously.. im going to post sth abt rice! :D
*clears throat* my classmate recounted this for me. and omg, i laughed damn hard at it!
apparently, two guys were preparing fried rice for their home economics assessment. so, idk how! they obviously tot that there's nth wrong in pouring rice into the pan and start frying. and i mean, "mi" not "fan"! fyi, "mi" is uncooked rice, and "fan" is cooked rice. hahahaha! yep! they poured uncooked rice and expected a plate of fried rice would somehow appear infront of their eyes by frying that -.- ohmygoodness! even if they dont watch people cooking.. they should see on tv that you dont fry "mi" to get fried rice, right?! why isit called "chao fan" instead of "chao mi"? i suppose, they nvr tot of that (:

damn happy (; got my appetite back! woooh :D diana and sihui! hope that happens to your too (:

ethel tan is crazy. LOL. she asked if i would call my children "cotton candy" and "KOI" in future?!! ofcos not!! *offended* hahah! :D

i think this post is long. LOL. and crappy. hahahah! i think im nervous l: the aftermath of first crappy OP rehearsal. and the 'anticipation' for tml's release of promos results! as well as OP trg. but hey!

a little faith goes a long way!
:D

i wonder.. am i just more adept at running from problems, or having a firm belief that things would simply work out?

2010-10-23T18:04:00.002+08:00

balloons;
fly away & be gone.

grumbles. (im nasty from lack of sleep!)
tdy din start off well, but it will be a great day! my parents lost their temper at me when i woke. and then tried to be nice after that. well, can i say, so what the hell happened??

you know. do parents ever realise that we are growing and maturing as years pass by? and that we can spot lies easily? and how do they expect me to not know when they have been talking abt it straight in my face for the past month?? cos, i really dk.

i still have trouble w left and right. LOL. i kinda lost my way while finding the toilet -.- i somehow think 'right' is 'left' then ended up in the swimming pool instead!! ever since that, i keep mixing up left and right throughout the whole day. LOL. doing animation for OP, thinking of 'right' but i somehow chose 'left' and tot i click the crt one )): and by the way! im a pro at animation alr?! :D

had dimsum! LOL. my auntie was trying to be funny. hahahah she said EH! then your buy dimsum like see doc isit?! still need take Q number de! hahahaha. my aunts were also saying how they couldnt stand it when ppl dk the meaning of Qs overseas! and recounting the ridiculous things some do to cut Qs! and we were teasing my brother. hahahha *mean*

my cousin-in-law is pregnant! woooh! will have a baby cousin soon! :D hahaha apparently, my uncle is really really excited for his grandchild. but lol, now six weeks only leh! he over-reacting la!!

saw three of my jc classmates tdy! lol. she is crappy as usual, and she siao one! say im pretty when she's damn pretty tdy! :D i almost couldnt recognise her! saw one 'couple' (recognised as one, but they nvr deny or admit!) at sengkang! wow, twice this week! saw them tgt at paya lebar on thurs, while meeting crystal! the two of them uh!

i love eeyore. and lol, this is interesting (;
winnie the pooh was based on psychological problems; winnie had an eating disorder, pigglet had generalized anxiety disorder, eeyore had major depression and tigger had ADHD! :D

it hurts to see her like this. if i could, can i please take on some of her pain. anything, anything that can make her life easier; i'll do it. perhaps bcos of this, other problems seem to pale in comparison.

Deuteronomy 31:8
Do not fear not be dismayed.

hold His hand;
i'll smile, i'll laugh, i'll joke. bcos i'll be strong and not make you worried. (: (: (:

2010-10-21T17:56:00.004+08:00

truth be told,
i miss you.
(:
crystal!! hahahah omg. lunch today was great! was it bcos of the company? LOL. eh i shouldnt praise crystal anymore, she's alr super bhb! and she still dare to say i thick skinned leh! lol. i nvr knew that singpost has pastamania! seriously! since when?! lol. and i know she's really happy with him. most of the time, she says. hahaha. omg, she seriously smile non stop leh! wow!

this is for people who are receiving their results. dont worry, dont fear (: bcos there's nth you can do about it now. does that sound depressing? but rmb, there's absolutely nothing wrong with falling. unless you nvr learn to stand up.

Once upon a time, there was a farmer in the central region of China. He didn’t have a lot of money and, instead of a tractor, he used an old horse to plough his field.

One afternoon, while working in the field, the horse dropped dead. Everyone in the village said, “Oh, what a horrible thing to happen.” The farmer said simply, “We’ll see.” He was so at peace and so calm, that everyone in the village got together and, admiring his attitude, gave him a new horse as a gift.

Everyone’s reaction now was, “What a lucky man.” And the farmer said, “We’ll see.”

A couple days later, the new horse jumped a fence and ran away. Everyone in the village shook their heads and said, “What a poor fellow!”

The farmer smiled and said, “We’ll see.”

Eventually, the horse found his way home, and everyone again said, “What a fortunate man.”

The farmer said, “We’ll see.”

Later in the year, the farmer’s young boy went out riding on the horse and fell and broke his leg. Everyone in the village said, “What a shame for the poor boy.”

The farmer said, “We’ll see.”

Two days later, the army came into the village to draft new recruits. When they saw that the farmer’s son had a broken leg, they decided not to recruit him.

Everyone said, “What a fortunate young man.”

The farmer smiled again – and said “We’ll see.”

MORALOFTHESTORY: Many times what looks like a setback, may actually be a gift in disguise. And when our hearts are in the right place, all events and circumstances are gifts that we can learn valuable lessons from.

you know.. i actually have no idea why china! LOL. this story de "background" is really random?!!!!

i wanted to post sth really amusing about rice.. but i shall do this another time (; so.. rice. think rice. now i wont forget abt it!

maybe its my fault. and maybe one day.. youll tell me the reason. will you?

2010-10-20T18:53:00.003+08:00

it's green. it's random. it's happy.
it's me and you!

hahah HAPPY BIRTHDAY TENWEIMEI! now everyone who "hops" my blog will know there is a wonderful girl who turns 17 on 20 10 2010! :D may all your troubles turn into blessings or just vanish (like those stains on clothes in the ad!) :D i love you!

something random tdy. im still afraid of cats and dogs. lol, i mean fine, they are cute. in photos! but i think they are scary in reality. i cnt rmb a time when im not scared of them! must be my mother's bad influence! lol. she'll pull me and my brother to the middle of the road bcos of some barking dogs. LOL. i saw this cute little caucasian boy! this white dog was what? one arm's length away from the boy! by that, i mean the little boy's hand! LOL please, my arm definitely longer than his, lol. i think the little boy is damn cute and damn brave! :D

i got freaked when i turned my head to the stairs and saw a cat! sheesh. i literally broke out in cold sweat in that millisecond! tsk. the cats in my neighbourhood has a knack or sick habit of scaring me! ): lol. my father finds me amusing. that such a big human can be scared of a small animal. LOL

crystal! heh, its really fun to see you in nyjc :D miss seeing you in school ): hope youll rmb to check my blog tml (; will post sth for you! and ofcos, that post isnt just for you la! i just brought forward the day i post it, for you. (:

i think im the one with low EQ. really. and im getting better at this :D

a retarded mv for an equally retarded you! (:

2010-10-18T18:21:00.004+08:00

unusually tired tdy; but..
it'll be okay!

*sighs* there are mainly two kinds of lecture: to teach or to scold. and i experienced both tdy! seriously, youre disappointed in us, and cn i say "me too"? do you think we love it when we cnt understand? do you think we love it when our performance are substandard? thanks man, youre a great encouragement. my pw tutor lost her temper at us. well, i cn say, im almost used to it alr. lets get pw over and done with! good grief. lol. cheerios!

tansihui! lol. omg, she scared me in school tdy! again! lol, i think her way of showing affection and greeting is through scaring. and giving me the shock of my life! i hope my heart is getting stronger! hhahhaha

sitting at the front in the LT is scary. lol. really, you have to take note if you need to open the door for others! even if youre happily, innocently talking to your great friend (tsk, weimei!) ! :D

cinnamon melt. lol. i love it. even aft waiting to try it for what? almost a year?? hahahah its damn nice (; heh, i literally have to force my dad to try one bite! :D
i told you. i think i know myself more than i believe.

its funny how much i still think about you. i thought of you when my classmates mentioned that they had to go to a museum (again) for pw. and when i saw a yellow highlighter. and when i saw someone walking like the way you do. you.. (;

{x} stop worrying others
{x} get my appetite back!
{x} im older now; so start being more mature and strong (;

; for me it happens all the time

2010-10-16T16:38:00.004+08:00

i tell you.

i never expect much from you. friends, you say. sure. fine. im okay w that. i had been, and will be. but can you please. please stop telling me to stop liking you. i cnt do that. i really cnt. if you cnt stand them, i cn tell them to shut up, okay? just stop that. please.

i'll be strong. i always am. so, dont worry.

it started as my choice, and only i have the right to decide what i will do.

you should never have given me that, and i will never tell you why.

2010-10-16T15:22:00.010+08:00

i promise,

i'll smile after this. (:

did

im really trying. when i told you i agree, i meant it. i really naively thought that as we grow older, problems will become simpler and life would be carefree and damn easy. i thought that studies would always be manageable. that friends would forever be there and there will never be any conflicts. that i'll like a guy and there wont be any problems at all. that nothing, nothing like that year would ever happen again. so what if they showed obvious favourism towards my brother? so what if they made me feel so unwelcomed? so what if they dont care about me? i care about them. but why. why one after another, they become sick. why. why wont my parents tell me anything abt them? i know, i know deep down that she doesnt have much longer left. i know she's hurting now. i know, if my parents ever tell me abt her, it wont be any good news. i know. but i really dont know how much more of this i can take. where is my breaking point? have i reach it yet? or have i long passed it, but simply refuse to acknowledge it. i really hate myself. right now, i dont need any comforting words. i dont need anyone to save me. all i want, is someone. just someone to talk to me. to crap to. i know im not alone. but its really hard to feel that way. ytd.. was really great. i always hated my birthday ever since that year. i never wanted to celebrate my birthday, knowing she wont be there. despite that, i was genuinely happy ytd (: thank you. idk what i will do if you guys werent there. can you understand?

i'll be fine. i'll be strong.

you

i think, random-ness runs in my family. like, seriously! my sister told me, she was told that this bowl is chip and break-resistant! she din believe, so she dropped the bowl onto the floor. LOL. just to see whether its true ornt?! she siao one right! no wonder im not exactly normal too! :O oops! hahahaha

but hey! i've nvr tried dropping a bowl on the floor to test anything de hor! :D

read

had chocolate 'lava' cake and icecream just now! wooh! damn shiok (; hhahaha the chocolate was great! but damn ex ): i think my sister is seriously broke ): she's damn nice right! (: since she's my sister! lol

chocolates.

that

another day.

part?

buckets! (;
random :D